Alone
by un nuovo scrittore
Summary: Delilah is a 17 year old girl living in a foster home in Chicago with her foster mom Ruby. She's a loner who is trying to fight the hurt of what her life is. When she meets the members of Firehouse 51 and gets to know them will she let them in or shut them out? Can two tortured people find comfort in each other?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my Chicago Fire fanfic! It's a story I've been thinking about writing for a while! I hope you like it enough to keep reading! Please review if you have any comments or opinions about the story! -Emma**

What am I? I ask myself that sometimes. A question I don't really want to answer because I know I won't like it, but the truth is I am alone.

My whole life I've gone from one foster home to another, not knowing who my family is or if I even have one. For 17 years it's been like this. But I am determined to make this foster home in Chicago my last. When I turn 18 I am going to get out of this hell hole that is Ruby's house. I don't know what I'll do then but I will find a way to survive.

Ruby is my foster "mom". She fosters kids just for the money she gets for "taking care of orphans", as she calls it. I find that funny since she doesn't do anything but lay on the couch, watch tv, and drink whisky. I'm the only kid she has now, the others turned 18 and left. She's not cruel, just a little messed up.

I step quietly out of my room and head for the door trying not to wake up Ruby. I get almost to the door when I hear her stir. "Crap…"

"Delilah where are you going?" Ruby said lifting her head up from the couch. She looked pretty bad, from the hangover I'm guessing. "Just out, I need some air." Since I'm on summer break I spend most of my time riding around Chicago on my bike and sitting in parks drawing. It's better than sitting inside all day and I like being outside.

"You always need air..." She says in a way that makes me feel a little bad for her. She's not old, around 40 I think. She has this boyfriend that comes around every few months and asks for money. He never stays very long, but long enough to get money and beat up on Ruby. She always says for me to stay away when he's here and never to call the cops. So I do what she tells me.

"I can't stay here all the time. I have to get out" She never stops me from doing anything, it's pretty much me fending for myself. I get food, and the little clothes we can afford, and anything else that is needed. Most of the money is spent on liquor... Personally the stuff is nasty and costs too much money!

"I know. You're such a wild thing. I don't think anything could keep you from being that way." She calls me "wild thing" all the time. It's true though, nothing can hold me back.

"Yeah well I'm gonna go." I say as I head outside and grab my bike putting my backpack on as I go. I start to ride the way I always go, down the block on to the main road, past the gas station and the firehouse on the way to the park I go to. I always go slow past the firehouse so I can look at everything. The trucks are so cool! I know I sound like a 5 year old little boy who is obsessed with fire trucks, but it's true!

As I go by I see a woman with bleach blonde hair and a dark blue uniform standing with another woman with tan skin and the same uniform. They're the paramedics I think. **CRASH! **I feel myself flip off the bike and hit the ground, letting out a scream as I go and then everything goes blurry…


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up with my head throbbing and the taste of blood in my mouth. I hear voices and see blurry movements around me. Things clear up and there are people, the paramedics from the firehouse and firemen, hanging over me and one of them is talking to me.

"Can you hear me sweetie? You're going to be fine. Just let us do the work." The blonde one says. She starts putting a bandage on my head and the tan medic is looking into my eyes with a bright light.

Try to get up but they keep telling me not to. "Stay still. You don't need to get up." Says the tan woman. I realized what happened and felt really stupid for running into the curb while staring at the big red firetrucks like an idiot.

"I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine! It's just a bump." I sit up and look around and see a bunch of firemen staring at me like I'm a dying child or something. Don't they have anything better to do? Jeez…

"You were out for few minutes. That's not perfectly fine." It was one of the firemen. He was tall, really buff with greyish-blue eyes and a gap between his front teeth. Pretty cute too. Tall, dark and handsome... Not that I'm a boy crazy prom princess or anything like that!

I glare at him and start to grind my teeth. "Let me be the judge of how I am why don't you!" I hate when people try to baby me. Not that it happens very often. He has no right to tell me how I am! I can take care of myself thank you!

"Well well isn't someone a little grumpy." He replies. I'm the smartass! You don't get to be the smartass Mr. I Think I'm a smartass! I don't even give him the satisfaction of responding.

I look at the blonde medic and ignore the pain in the ass fireman. She gave him a smile and chuckled under her breath. Which I don't understand! Did she think he was funny? "I'll be fine." I said trying to hide my aggravation.

"If you're sure then ok." She puts more tape on the bandage. "I've seen you around before. I'm Shay. And you are?" She asks trying to break the ice.

"Delilah. And yeah I go by here every day." She nods. "Nice to meet you. This is Dawson.." She points to the other medic "…and that's Kelley…" Ah ha! The pain in the ass "…and that's Lt Casey ." They wave and smile at me. It's starting to get a little weird all these people staring at me.

"Hey…" I smile at them except for the Kelly guy, I give him my worst mean look. I don't hate him, I just highly dislike him.

I get up and as I stand my gets a dizzy. I wobble a little and someone grabs my waist to steady me. I turn around and it's Kelly. My natural defense kicks. "Let go of me!" I jerk away, he lets go and I steady myself trying to seem tough but the truth was I my head was killing me. Allot!

"Hey, hey! Calm down! I was just trying to help." Calm down? Don't most people know that when you tell a girl to "calm down" it makes it worse? Guess not…

"I don't need your help! I would've been fine without you!" I'm blowing up now. But he asked for it soo… "No, you would've been on the ground!" He yells with a frustrated look on his face.

I guess he's used to people he helps saying "Thank you" or "You're my hero". Well not me Mr.! Not me!

"No I would be FINE! And you are an…" Shay cuts me off looking nervous and giving Kelly a look.

"Coffee break anyone?" I huff and get my bike up but the chain broke. Yay! "Ugh…" I let out a frustrated grunt bending down and trying to fix the chain.

"You can come in if you want. I'm sure one of the guys can fix your bike." She says with a smile on her face. I think I like Shay.

"Um…I guess so." Being here is better than going back home I guess. picks my bike up and carries it toward the firehouse. I follow them up the driveway.

Well this is going to be an adventure!


	3. Chapter 3

****So what do ya think so far? Review and let me know!*****

After my "tumble" off my bike my head still hurts but the coffee Dawson gave me is pretty good. Strong how I like it!

"So tell me how exactly you got that bump on your head." An older looking guy, I'd say he was in his mid 40's, said pointing at my head. He looked nice. "And I'm Herrmann by the way."

"Um well I was looking at the fire trucks while riding my bike and hit the curb and fell." I said smiling and laughing at myself. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kelly staring at me leaning against a wall drinking coffee. I can't tell what he was thinking but it was strange. I looked down at my feet confused.

"Very graceful of you!" He laughed. I saw Lt Casey talking to Kelly over in the corner.

"Hey Delilah." He said waving me over. "Coming." I walked over to where they were. "Yeah?" I asked. "Kelly's going to try to fix your bike for you. He's pretty good at fixing things." Lt Casey said holding his own mug of coffee. Kelly looked away and headed for the truck bay. I followed him and waved back at Lt Casey. "Thanks!" I said to him. "No problem!" He said back.

We walked over to where my bike was laying and I showed Kelly where the problem was. He started messing with the chain and I just stood there shifting my weight from one foot to the other.

"Kelly?" He didn't look up. "What?" He said dryly. He was in a bad mood. I guess that would be my fault.

"I-I wa...I'm sorry for going off on you like I did." I blurted out. He looked to the side but not at me. He didn't say anything just stood up and wouldn't make eye contact with me. "I just get defensive sometimes…well most of the time."

I did feel bad for yelling at him. But he yelled back so he had no right to act like it was all my fault. "It's fine." He said. But he didn't sound like it was fine. What is his problem? He is a grown man! He thinks he's a very manly man! Why is he acting like this?

"What the hell is your problem? Have I emotionally scarred you or something?" I yell at him. He finally looks at me.

"What is my problem? Are you kidding? I was just trying to help you and you acted like I hurt you!" He said yelling back waving his hands around scaring me a little.

"You don't understand anything! Just stay the hell away from me!" I yelled through my throat closing up on me. I and stomped back into the lounge area to find someone else to fix my bike.

Everyone stared at me when I walked in. They must've heard us yelling. I look for Shay and find her getting something out the fridge.

"Um hi. Could you help me fix my bike?" I said quietly. "Sure can." She said walking towards the truck bay. I followed her and tried not to look at anyone. I had calmed down mostly and I was getting tired from all that happened today.

We walked over to my bike and I sat down beside it. I'm sure I looked horrible. Ratty jean shorts, black tank top, dirty Converses with my hair a mess caked in blood from my head. I was shaking a little bit from what happened with Kelly.

"Ya know he wasn't trying to hurt you right?" Shay asked me. I could tell she was trying to be careful what she said. Right now I don't think I could yell again…or do anything at all that requires movement.

"I know. I just reacted. I can't help that." I said rubbing the back of my neck. I was sore all over.

"Kelly is hard to understand but once you get to know him he's a pretty good guy." She said smiling.

"Do you know him well?" I asked. She looked over at me and nodded her head.

"Yeah. We're roommates. Living in the same house with someone kinda forces you to get to know them." She said chuckling. I wonder if they're together.

"Oh yeah I bet." Laughing with her. I thought about for a second and decided to ask. "Can I ask you a question?" I asked. Hope she doesn't take this the wrong way.

"Fire away!" She said.

"Are you and him together? Ya know together together?" I asked. I was curious to know. Shay was really pretty and since they live together I just figured they were.

She laughed which surprised me. "Me and Kelly? Ahahaha! No…way no." Why are they living together then? Weird.

"I just figured that you were…since you live together." I'm so confused.

"I'm lesbian Delilah!" She said busting out laughing.

"Oohhh! Now I get why you're laughing!" Got it. It all makes sense now.

"Yeahhh!" She did a few things with the bike. "Got it! All fixed now! Good to go!" She said rubbing her hands on her pants getting the oil off.

"Thank you Shay!" I said smiling. She looked proud of herself for fixing the bike.

"No prob!" I picked up the bike and decided it was time to head home. It was getting late and I'd been at the station all day. They hadn't had any calls… well except me. "Well I better go. Thanks again!" I said getting on my bike.

"Come back and see us sometime if you want. Just next time don't fall in the driveway." She said laughing at me. "Ok. I might." I started down the driveway with my head and well everything hurting like all hell.

I got home to find Ruby on the couch asleep as always. I went to my room and took a shower to get all the blood off my head which hurt when I touched it. I got in my bed and I was so tired but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get Kelly out of my mind. Why can't I stop thinking about him?


	4. Chapter 4

After getting close to no sleep last night and my head still hurting I was feeling like crap. But hey! I'm way better off than allot of people so no complaining from me! After getting up out of bed and walking to the sink to wash my face I realized I didn't put another bandage on the cut on my head last night. It was looking pretty rough. The cut was swollen and really red around it. The knot was still there and was starting to bruise so I wet a cold cloth and started dabbing at it. It stung but I knew it had to be clean or it would get infected. After cleaning it I went through the whole bathroom but didn't find anything that resembled a bandage or wound medicine.

"Great, just great…ugh!" I went through the small bedroom to the door and quietly turned the nob to open it. I didn't know if Ruby was awake and I didn't want her to see my head. I don't think she would care but I just didn't want her to see it. I poked my head out and I didn't see anyone but I saw a note on the front door. It said "Going out. Won't be back for a while. –Ruby"

I went to the "kitchen". It was really just a wall with a stove and a mini fridge. The only sink in the place was the bathroom sink in the only bedroom. Ruby and I shared the room but she most of the time stayed on the couch. I searched though the cabinets and finally found a first aid kit with bandages and different medicines. I found a bottle that said "Advil" and took one. I definitely needed it! I grabbed a bandage and ointment to put on my head and went back to the bathroom. I carefully put the stuff on like Shay did. I looked at myself and I did it all wrong. "Oh well. Never been good at this kind of thing." I said to myself.

I braided my long brown hair took my night clothes off and looked at myself in the mirror. My stomach was a little bigger which I was glad of, I was getting too thin. I am tall, about 5'8', thin but not stick thin, with long legs and freckles on my knees. I always thought my freckles were weird but I can't do anything about it. I walked into the bedroom and picked up the shorts I wore yesterday, a white tank top, and a thin grey sweater and put them on. I tied on my Converses and headed outside to get my bike, grabbing my backpack with my drawing supplies in it on the way.

I wanted to go back to 51 but I decided not to. I don't think they really want me around. Shay was just being nice saying I could come back if I wanted to so I decided to go to the park instead and draw. I started on the road the way I always go. As I was going past the firehouse I didn't see anyone, I was almost wishing someone would see me but they didn't.

I got to the park and found a bench and sat down getting my paper and pencils out. I saw this pretty statue and started to draw it. It was a horse standing on its hind legs. Very beautiful I think. The drawing was just starting to look nice when I heard this loud boom and what sounded like glass shattering. I jolted up from the bench and saw smoke coming from a building across the street. I was in the less populated part of town not very businesses just apartments.

I very quickly stuffed my things in my backpack and was about to get on my bike and ride over when I heard a scream coming from a window. I through my bag down and ran as fast as I could over to the building. I could see a woman's head through a 2nd story window. It looked like she was sitting down. The fire was coming out of the 3rd story.

"Why is she not coming out? She needs to come out before the fire gets to her!" I said to myself. She sees me and waves franticly.

"Help us! Please help us!" She still isn't moving anywhere. I didn't hear any sirens and people were starting to stand around. There were a few people coming out of the building coughing and carrying a few things. No one was going to help the woman. I don't know what to do!

I did the first thing I thought of. I ran as fast as I could into the building. When I got in there was smoke already on the bottom floor. I remembered that the woman was on the 2nd story and went up the stairs. I got to the 2nd floor and started opening doors that were unlocked.

"Can anyone hear me!?" I yelled through the smoke. "Hello! Yell if you can hear me!" I got to the last door in the hall and it was open. I let myself in and saw the woman from the window. She was in a wheel chair with a baby on her lap and a toddler standing beside her. She saw me.

"Help us!" The kids were crying and coughing through the smoke. She looked so scared. I ran over to them.

"You have to get out!" I started coughing. The smoke was burning my throat and eyes. I put my arm up to my mouth trying not to inhale the smoke but it didn't help.

"Get the children out! I can't!" I was trying to think of a way to get all of them out but I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough.

"I can't just… l-leave you!" I said trying to talk through the burning in my lungs. The kids were crying and still coughing worse.

"Yes you can! Take the children and get them out! You have to save them!" She yelled through her own tears and coughing. I went over and picked the baby up, it was a girl about a year old, and grabbed the little boy's hand. I looked over at her and she kissed them both. She put her hand up to my cheek and seemed to be thinking. "You are so beautiful." She said through tears. "Thank you. Now go! Get them out!"

I walked as fast as I could with the little boy following beside me. He was coughing worse now and seemed to have trouble breathing. I took my sweater off and gave it to him. "Put this over your mouth and nose. Ok? Breathe through it!" He nodded and did as I said. I put the baby as close to my chest as I could and started going down the hall. As we got to the stairs I saw the fire right above us. I couldn't breathe and the smoke was getting hard to see through but I kept going with the little boy in tow. I was almost to the bottom floor when I heard a crash. Part of the sealing had fallen and the stairs were blocked. "Come.. on 51! Please get here.. and h-help us!" I said between my coughing. Just as I said that I saw the front door open and two Squad 3 firemen come in and they see me and run over. I couldn't go any farther. I couldn't breathe. It was all I could do to keep holding the little girl.

I looked up and one of the men picked up the little boy and ran out. Through the smoke and my tear filled eyes I saw Kelly. He picks me up with the baby in my arms.

"Lilah it's going to be ok. I've got you." He said looking at me through his mask. I saw his eyes. His beautiful blue-grey eyes…


	5. Chapter 5

***Let me know how you like the story so far! Chapters too short? Boring? Is it amazing? Lol

P.S. There is a link to a picture of my O/C Delilah on my profile.

Kelly had me in his arms taking me and the baby over to Shay and Dawson to get treated. I was still coughing badly and my throat and lungs hurt. The baby calmed down a little. I hope she will be ok. "You still with me?" He asked as we walked. I was staring right at him with my head feeling foggy from the lack of oxygen. I felt this stabbing pain in my leg but didn't know why it was hurting so bad. I couldn't remember anything happening to it. "Yeah… I'm w-with you." I said through my heavy breathing. "Good." He said smiling.

We got to Shay and Dawson and Dawson took the baby and Kelly laid me down on the grass while Shay put the oxygen mask on my face. "How you feeling?" She asked me while checking my pulse and blood pressure. "Like crap." I said. She smiled weakly and continued with her work. "But other than that I'm fine!" I wasn't fine. She knew that too. Adrenaline was keeping me going. "Well good." She said with a worried look on her face. She started rapping gauze around a spot on my leg and I realized I had a gash in my right outer thigh the length of a pencil and something sticking out of it. She didn't pull whatever it was out but left it. It was bleeding allot too. She put an IV in my arm after she finished my leg. "You need to stop hurting yourself." She said trying to keep my spirits up and my thoughts away from the pain.

'Severide get over here!" The Chief yelled. Kelly looked over at the Chief. "I'm coming!" I didn't realize he was still kneeling beside me. I didn't know why he was. I thought he would go back and help the other guys but he didn't. He gave a weak smile and started to get up and then I remembered the woman. I jerked my mask off and sat up as quick as I could. "Wait! There's a woman still in there! She's in a wheel chair. I couldn't get her out! She told me to go without her. I shouldn't have left her!" I said talking quickly and gasping for breath. "Whoa now! Just slow down." He said putting his hands on my shoulders and kneeling beside me again. "Where Lilah? Do you remember?" I nodded quickly. "2nd floor, last door on the left! But the stairs on busted!" I said in a panic. "I-I couldn't get her out!" I said crying. I'm in a total panic. Everything happened so fast I couldn't think of a way to get her out. "We'll get her! Don't worry! You did great!" He said and ran over to the Chief. The ladder truck started going to the window the woman was in. Kelly started climbing and got to the window and went in. A few seconds later he came out with the woman on his shoulder. She wasn't moving any that I could tell.

Shay put my mask on and laid me back down. "Kelly's got her Delilah. He got her out. Now just relax ok?" I nodded . "Ok." I heard loud footsteps and saw one of the Rescue 3 guys walk by with the woman in his arms. She still wasn't moving and there were burns on her legs and she was covered in black stuff. I couldn't look anymore. I couldn't stop thinking of how she looked and me and said I was beautiful. She was so nice. I was tortured by the fact I didn't help her, how I just left her there to die. I felt tears on my cheeks and I wasn't ashamed of them. I was ashamed of me.

I started to get sleepy and I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. The last thing I remember is someone holding my hand and kissing it while saying "You're ok Lilah. You're just fine."

***1 day later***

I woke up to the smell of antiseptic and a beeping sound. I opened my eyes and I was in a small white room with a chair in the corner and flowers on a table beside me. At first I was confused of where I was but then I realized I was in a hospital room. Alone in a hospital room.

I heard someone walking in and it was a young woman with brown hair and blue eyes in a white coat with a clip board in her hands. She saw I was awake and walked over smiling.

"Good morning. I'm Hali." Was it morning? It was afternoon the last time I checked…I guess I haven't checked in a while. "Um hi. What's going on?" I felt foggy and was confused as to why I was in a hospital room. "You were injured in a fire. But you're going to be just fine." She said with a smile on her face. I feel like I've seen her before but I can't remember from where. I thought for a minute and it all came back to me. Explosion, screaming, smoke, flames, kids crying, and a woman…a woman in a wheel chair telling me I was beautiful. I left her in the building. I left her to die. Tears start falling down my cheeks and Hali walks over to me. "Hey it's ok sweetie. I promise you're going to be fine." She said sitting down beside me and taking my hand in hers. "The woman in the fire! Is she ok? Did she die? I left her to die! Where is Kelly? Did he get her out?" I yelled out. My throat barely let me yell. It felt like I swallowed razors. "Calm down Delilah. She's alive and doing ok. And yes Lt. Severide got her out. She's alive because of you. You did what you had to do to save who you could." She said calmly. I felt so relieved but I still can't take what I did. Maybe if I tried harder she would be more than ok. Maybe there was a way to get her out before the fire got to her room. "Are you sure?" I ask having a hard time believing her. I remember now that she had burns. Burns can kill people.

"Are you up for visitors? You have a few people a little worried about you." She said with a smile on her face. I see a head poke around the door. It was Herrmann with a huge smile on his face. "Sure!" I said smiling through my tears. Herrmann walked in with a hand full of flowers and Shay, Dawson, Lt. Casey , and Kelly behind him. "Here ya go!" Herrmann said putting the flowers in vase that was beside my bed. I sat up slowly wincing a little when my leg shoots pain through me. "Thank you! They're beautiful!" I was right when I first saw him. He is a nice guy. "They're from all of us at 51!" He said smiling and stepping back. Shay and Dawson come over and they both give me a little hug. "We're so glad you're ok! You were so great back there. " "Me too! I guess so..." I said. It didn't feel like I did great. Lt. Casey gave Hali a kiss on the cheek and it clicked. I've seen Hali at the station when I ride by sometimes. Lt. Casey and Hali are together.

Kelly walked over slowly looking me in the eyes. He smiles a little and I noticed what he had in his hands. It was a big teddy bear. "This is for you." He handed it to me still not taking his eyes away from mine. I looked at it at I liked it allot. Nobody ever gives me things like this. I only have one teddy bear that I've had ever since I can remember. I don't even know who gave it to me. "Thanks." I said shyly. I don't know why he's being so nice. The last time we talked wasn't exactly…pleasant. "I love it!" I put it beside me and look up again. Everyone was looking at Kelly. They all looked surprised and confused at the same time. He was still looking at me. It started to surprise and confuse me too. I blushed and looked at the bear again.

"Well Delilah needs to rest. You guys can come back later." Hali said nervously looking around at everyone. Kelly finally stopped looking at me and realized everyone was looking at him like…well like he was an idiot. "Thanks for the flowers and the teddy bear." I said looking at anyone but Kelly. "No problem!" Dawson said and she came over and gave me another quick hug. Shay came over and patted hand. "Be back later." She said smiling.

The rest just wave and I hear a chorus of goodbyes. Kelly just walks out quickly without saying anything or turning back.

What's going on with him?


	6. Chapter 6

After a while of lying on the hospital bed I started to get tired of being here. I hate being cooped up somewhere. I guess that's why Ruby calls me "wild thing".

I thought I heard someone outside my door but no one came in so I started singing to myself. Not loudly just singing.

"I've been roaming around, I was always looking around at all I see. Painted faces fill the places I can't reach. You know I could use somebody, you know I could use somebody, someone like you…."

I fell asleep to my own lullaby.

****About an hour later****

When I woke up before I opened my eyes I felt something holding my hand. It was rough and strong but tender and soft at the same time. I heard someone breathing so I opened my eyes to see him sitting in a chair close beside me. It was Kelly. When he saw my eyes open he took his hand away and looked at them.

"Hey." I said quietly. Just loud enough for him to hear me.

"Hey" He said back. Nothing more. I thought for a while and I realized something. When he yelled at me I don't think that was the real Kelly Severide. Like Shay said, he's a good guy once you know him. I've known who I thought he was for 3 days and it might sound stupid but I feel like I really know him now. The real Kelly, the one that saved me from the fire engulfed building, the one that kissed my hand as I was falling into unconsciousness, the one that brought me the teddy bear, the one who cared. That was Kelly Severide. He may act all tough and he may be an ass sometimes but that's not who he is.

"I can go if you want. If you're still mad at me." He said still looking down at his hands.

"Don't be stupid. I'm not mad at you anymore. I never really was. I just.." He cut me off.

"You don't have to explain. I get it." He said back finally looking at me for a spilt second. I don't understand why he is sitting beside me on his day off when he could be out doing stuff with his friends. He's what? Like 25? 26? And I'm a 17 year old orphan from who knows where with trust issues. Am I missing something here?

"Alrighty then…well you wanna make yourself useful and get me some water?" I said putting on my best serious face.

"You could ask nicely next time." He said getting up and getting a cup of water off my bedside table. He gave it to me and smiled.

"Thank you Lt. Severide. I do appreciate your kindness." I said dryly. "That nice enough for ya?" I said with a hint of sarcasm.

"It is. Thank you!" He said laughing.

"No problem my dear!" I said losing my serious face and laughing with him. "Ow ow!" I said loudly grabbing my chest with my free hand. He looks concerned.

"Are you ok? Do I need to get a doctor?" He said nervously with a worried look on his face. He looked cute when he had that face. Wait what am I thinking? He's not cute…not at all!

"No, no I'm fine!" I said smiling. "It hurts to laugh is all!" It was just a dull pain in my chest from all the smoke I inhaled. My lungs probably looked like a 60 year old lifetime smoker's.

"Oh. Well stop laughing you idiot!" He said with a hint of humor. I was still laughing. I couldn't stop! He was really funny in weird way. He was witty just like me! Maybe that's way we didn't get along at first. Because we are allot alike.

"I can't if you keep saying funny things you idiot!" He smiled and shuck his head. "Did you notice what I did there? I called you an idiot since…well you are an idiot I think."

"Yeah I noticed and I am very offended by that comment too!" He said putting his hand to his chest to look like he was shocked. "Well I better go before you kill yourself laughing so much." I stopped laughing as hard and smiled.

"That's a good idea I think." I smiled and he looked down but didn't leave. "Hey Kelly?"

"Yeah Lilah?" He said. What is it with him calling me Lilah?

"Thanks." I paused. "For everything."

He smiled. "I'll see you later." Wait he's coming back? My lungs can't handle any more Severide I don't think.

****A few hours later****

"Delilah are you ok? I got a call from the hospital and they said you were in a fire!" Ruby said bursting into the hospital room.

"I'm fine Ruby. Just a scratch on my leg and a little bit of smoke inhalation. They said I could go home in the morning." She looked a little bit relieved. It's all an act though. She has to act concerned or the government might move me to a different home if she seems like she isn't taking care of me. And I don't mind her acting because I don't want to be moved and neither does she. I leave, money stops.

"Well I'm not going to be home tomorrow. I have…things to do." I didn't expect her to care enough to at least stay home with me.

"Just like you had things to do today?" I said looking away. The "things" she does is sell drugs on the streets and hang out in bars. I could smell the whisky on her breath now.

"Yeah. Exactly." She said right when Hali came in. I think she noticed the smell of liquor too because she curled her nose up a little.

"Well how are we feeling now Delilah?" She said making her way over to my bed.

"A little better. Thanks." I said as she lifted the blanket off of me to check my leg. She took the bandage off and put on a new one.

"It's looking better. The plan is to have you leave in the morning around 9:00. That ok?" She said looking over at Ruby.

Ruby spoke up abruptly. "I can't be here at 9:00." She said looking at the doctor.

Hali looked at me and gave a weak smile. "How about 10:30?" Ruby looked away again and rubbed her temples.

"I'm busy all day. Can't she just stay here?" Hali looked like she was thinking and then smiled like she came up with a plan.

"Well she can't stay here but I know a close friend who wouldn't mind taking her in for a day or until you can be home." Ruby looked relieved and smiled.

"Yeah, yeah that would be fine." She smiled at Hali and nodded quickly.

"If you will just sign this so we know we have permission to release Delilah without you here." She said pointing at a piece of paper on her clip board. Ruby came over and signed it quickly.

"Well I better go." Ruby said lifting her hand to wave at me. "You feel better Delilah." She said and left. I was never even asked if I wanted to go stay with a strange person I don't know while my foster mom did all sorts of illegal things. What has the world come to? Don't I have rights?

"Who am I staying with?" I asked her.

She smiled and said. "Kelly and Shay. I'm sure they wouldn't mind since they are going to be off tomorrow." Well this will be interesting.

"Oh how fun…" I said sarcastically.


	7. Author's Note

**A/N: Ok, I just want to say this. I've had this story in my head since Chicago Fire started and I hope you like it! I will keep writing but I don't intend on moving very quickly with the story. I want to take it slow. If you have anything you would like to tell me regarding the story please review or PM me. I appreciate any constructive criticism. Thank you and enjoy!


	8. Chapter 7

A nurse walked in my room with my bag I left in the park. I had totally forgotten about it! I was glad someone found it seeing as how I'm bored out of my mind and in great need of paper and pencil. "A fire chief brought this in for you." She said handing me my bag. Must've been Chief Boden, I haven't talked to him but he seems nice enough. "Thanks." I said grabbing the bag from her. After I got my bag and started getting the notebook out I put the bag on my leg without thing and it hit right on the wound. "Ow. " I said quietly pulling in a quick breath. If it hurts this bad I wonder if I can walk. "Will I be able to walk tomorrow when I get released?" I asked her. I was hoping she said yes so I didn't have to be helped with everything at Shay and Kelly's place. "Not by yourself. You can put light pressure on it but no walking without help from someone for a couple days." She said in a very bland way. Well great! I don't want to be a burden to them so I may break the doctor's orders a little. "Ok. Thanks again for the bad." I said and she nodded and left the room.

I started drawing when the nurse left. What I started drawing wasn't what I meant to. I just kept sketching and smudging with my fingers. I started crying and breathing heavy. It's like I wasn't even doing it. I didn't have the feeling I usually get from drawing. I was angry and a feeling of total shame came over me. I stopped my hands from moving on the page and looked at the image I had created. It was the woman in her wheel chair by the window. She was screaming with a look of total terror and pain on her face. There was fire all around her and flames burning her legs as she struggled. I sat up more and threw the book in rage at the wall and screamed with all I had. "You left her to DIE!" I yelled at myself. "You left her to BURN!" I yelled again as nurses come running in and push me back on the bed. I struggled as hard as I could to get them away. "I'm a KILLER!" I sobbed while stopping my struggle. The nurses let go of me and just stood there. I rolled over on my side and broke down crying in total disgust with myself. How could I do that to the poor woman?

I was still sobbing and I felt like I was going to be sick but then I felt a hand on my back and someone sitting down beside me. "Shhh. "I looked behind me and through my tears I could see the blue/grey eyes of Kelly. I curled up in a ball and looked away from him. "Go a-away." I said sobbing. "I'm not going anywhere." He said still rubbing my back. I could feel his calloused hands on my bare skin where the hospital robe ties. It was calming and comforting to me.

I realized what happened in that fire was like tattoo… it can't be removed. Staying branded in my heart burning like acid being poured on flesh. Regret and a tortured picture of a woman being consumed by fire was never going to leave my mind. I don't know if I can live with that.


	9. Chapter 8

After a while of lying there I calmed down and Kelly was still beside me but not as close. I could hear his breathing, slow and steady. He didn't say anything for a long time and I noticed that it was dark outside. I started to wonder maybe he knew how I felt, the hurt of regret. I'm sure he's seen allot of horrible things in his line of work. People burning, trapped in cars with their bodies in a mess, or cut into a million pieces somehow. Maybe I was over reacting from what happened but I didn't see things like that every day. Maybe that's why he is so hard sometimes. He holds everything in and tries to push the memories away making himself hard as stone in the process. I'm not as strong as he is I guess or maybe he knew how to handle it better than I did but either way I knew he was hurting. You can tell that about people sometimes. Look in their eyes and see all the worry, pain and regret piercing through. I saw that in Kelly's eyes but I also saw a man who was scared to admit that he needed someone, like I need someone.

"Shouldn't you be out drinking on this lovely Friday night?" I asked trying to act happier even though I was still upset. I didn't want him to baby me like I was some broken person with a closet full of problems…even though I was that person. "I guess I could be." He said with a husky voice like he was almost falling asleep. "Then why aren't you Lt.?" I asked in a playful way. I liked how I could be myself around him. It made me feel safe and happy. Maybe Kelly and I could be friends. Like a big brother/little sister kind of way. I've never had that before and I wanted it. "Because I have better things to do!" He said sounding more awake. He's good at playing along with me! "Right. Like laying a hospital room with a crazy person without a drop of alcohol. Sounds fun!" I retorted back at him. He laughed and got up from the bed. "You want anything to eat? I'm starved!" I was getting hungry and it would be nice if he left for a few minutes…I really need to pee. "Uh yeah. Anything's fine with me." I said pulling the covers back over me. I was showing a little more leg than I'm comfortable with. Awkward… "Ok well I'll go and get something. Shay said she was coming around 8:00 so she should be here soon." He said scratching the back of his neck and looking away noticing me covering myself. "Be back soon." He said and left the room. I looked over on the table beside me and my drawing was on the table. I reached over and closed the notebook because I didn't want to see it anymore. When I could I was throwing it away. Kelly must've seen it because he left his jacket beside it.

After I called for a nurse to come help me over to the bathroom I got back into bed and she changed my bandage Shay walked in with a smile on her face and a present bag in her hand. "Hey there kiddo." She said walking over my bedside. "Hey Shay! Whatcha got there?" I said looking at the bag in her hand. "I brought you a present!" She said handing me the back. I looked and the bag then at her and smiled. "Well open it silly!" She said motioning toward the bag. I did as she said and took the light blue paper out and then pulled out a new sketching pad and nicer pencils. "Thank you Shay!" I said shocked. "They're perfect!" I've gotten more present today than I've gotten in my whole life. I hope she didn't spend too much. This type of drawing supplies are pretty expensive. "I'm glad! I noticed this art store on the way here and Chief said you had a sketch book and pencils in your bag so I figured you'd like some new stuff." She said explaining how she knew I liked to draw. "Well you didn't have to get me anything. You're doing enough by letting me stay at your place!" I said. I did need new supplies but I didn't want her spending money on me. This stuff probably costs close to one hundred dollars! "Oh about you staying with me and Kelly. I bought a ton of ice cream, rented some movies, and got a take-out menu from every place in Chicago. We're all set!" She said looking proud of herself. Well so much for not spending money on me… "Well alrighty then. Sounds good to me!" I said laughing with her.

I looked up and Kelly walked in with to-go bags and drinks in his hands. "I'm back. Hey Shay." He nodded in her direction and set the food down on the table. "I come bearing gifts!" He said setting my chicken sandwich on the try beside me. "I can see that! You brought enough for an army!" I said looking at him wide eyed while he keeps pulling food out of the bags. "I'm hungry!" He said stuffing fries into his mouth while Shay and I shake our heads and laugh. "A growing boy needs his food." Shay said still laughing at him. "What? A guy can't eat without being laughed at?" He said looking confused.

We ate and talked until about 10:30. Hali came in as we were laughing over Kelly doing a trick with his chocolate cookies. "Alright children Delilah needs to get some rest!" She said trying to act serious and not laugh at Kelly. "But but but I don't wanna!" I said poking my lower lip out pouting. "Better watch out poking that lip little missy!" Hali said waving her pointer finger at me. Everyone chuckled at me still pouting. "She's right. We'd better go." Shay said looking over at Kelly. "Yep I guess so." He said getting up and eating his cookies while cleaning up the mess he created with all his food. Man! The guy could eat!

"We'll see you in the morning Lilah." Kelly said grabbing his jacket off the table. "Ok. I'll be ready." I said looking at him and smiling a little. He smiled back and left. Shay waved and followed him out. "You better get some rest." Hali said checking my IV drip. "You're probably right." I said. She nodded . "Yeah I probably am. See you in the morning!" She said waving and closing the door to my room.

I turned the light out and laid back. My mind went back to her eyes looking at me. "You're so beautiful." She said staring at me like she was looking into my soul.


	10. Chapter 9

**_A/N: What do you guys think about how the story is_**_ **going? Should I do a Kelly's POV?**_**_ Review/PM me and let me know!_**

"_You left me here to burn. You deserve me torturing you. I won't ever leave you alone." The woman wheels closer to me through the fire away from the window and stares into my eyes. "Hate yourself. You don't deserve anyone caring for you." I shake my head and try to run but I can't move. She's laughing. She won't stop laughing._

"Noooo!" I sit up quickly from my bed and I'm panting and gasping for breath. The woman isn't there and the fire is gone, I look around and I'm in my hospital room, not the fire consumed apartment room. "It was just a dream." I said quietly to myself trying to shake off what the woman said. I know Hali said the woman was alive but for some reason in my head she wasn't.

I've always loved my dreams. They were one of the only ways for me to escape my reality. I never had nightmares, just good dreams of me being a part of a family or some cute guy kissing me. But now after this dream I had a feeling the good dreams are gone and the nightmares have taken over.

No one had come in my room since last night that I know of. I could hear people walking by my room but it didn't sound like anyone was coming in so I try to get up. I know, that's against the doctor's orders but I had to go to the bathroom so I decided to bend…or maybe break the rules a little. I struggle to walk with my leg sending pain signals up to my head and back to my nerves every time I put pressure on it. "Ow…ow…ow." I said every step I took. Bad idea Delilah! BAD IDEA! I thought to myself.

I make it to the bathroom and am heading back to my bed slowly…very slowly. I'm about half way when the door opens and a shocked Hali walks in. I freeze and slowly turn my head over to her. "Hi." I said giving her a cheesy grin and a quick dramatic wave. She puts a bag that she has in her hand on the end of my bed and walks over to me quickly. "You're going to tear your stitches doing that." She said sounding aggravated. She put her arm around my back and I put my arm on her shoulder to brace myself as she helps me back to sit on my bed. "Sorry for um… bending the rules…a little." I said to her smiling a little and wringing my hands. "Bending? You threw the rules out the window apparently." She said looking less aggravated and more humored by my rebelliousness. "Yeah well mother nature made me so it's really not my fault!" I said laughing. She put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "You're a handful aren't cha?" She said going to the bag she left on the bed. "Here are some clothes Kelly sent you to wear back to his place." She said getting a pair of black jogging shorts, a navy blue Firehouse 51 t-shirt, and my Converses out of the bag. "The rest of your stuff is still in there." She said pointing to the bag. Comfy clothes….oh how I love them.

After Hali helped me get dressed and changed my bandage she left for a little while and came back close to 9:00 with a nurse behind her pushing a wheel chair. "You about ready to go?" She asked me. "Very! It's a lovely hospital though!" I said smiling. I was so ready to be out of here! The nurse pushed the wheel chair over to the side of my bed. For a split second I thought of the woman in the wheel chair but Hali didn't give me a chance to think about it long. "Let's get you up." She said coming over with the nurse beside her helping me out of the bed and into the wheel chair. She picked up my bags and put my teddy bear and flowers in my lap. I help the teddy close. It smelled like smoke and cologne.

We went down the halls of the hospital and into an elevator and finally got to the exit. Hali signed me out and pushed me herself to the door to go outside. When we got out I saw Kelly, Shay and Lt Casey standing beside a car pulled under drive through place. They were smiling and Shay came over and gave me a hug. "How ya feeling today?" She said. "Well after my rebellious act of walking by myself not so hot but overall pretty good." I said looking up at Haili giving her a grin. "You've been giving this pretty little doc trouble haven't you?" Lt Casey said walking over to Hali and giving her a kiss. "Just a little. I gave this hospital a bit of life is all!" I said proudly. He laughed. "I'm sure you did." He said taking my stuff from Hali and putting it in the car.

Kelly walked over and was about to pick me up out of the wheel chair. "Wait a minute there slick! I've got it on my own." I said handing Shay the flowers and attemping to get up on my own. My leg protested as hard as it could. "Uh Delilah…are you forgetting something?" Hali said putting a hand on my shoulder. "Nooo…" I said sheepishly. She gave me a look. I hung my head and hugged the teddy bear. "Fine! Yes, Kelly I need help." I said not wanting to admit defeat. After my episode of walking by myself my leg was sore even with the pain meds I was taking. They all chuckled at my apparent aggravation. Kelly bent down and put one hand carefully under my knees and the other on my back and picked me up. I put one arm around his neck and held onto the bear with the other hand.

"Ok. No walking by yourself for 2 days, take one of these pills every 6 hours, and Shay if you could change the bandage 1 to 2 times a day." Hali said very professionally if I do say so myself. Shay nodded. "Alright. Got it. No problem at all." She said. Hali pointed a finger at me. "You heard that right? ." She said smiling. "Yep. I heard it. Not making any promises though." I said truthfully. She shook her head and smiled. "Ok then. Well feel better and let me know if you need anything." I smiled. "Will do."

Kelly put me into the car and I buckled up. "You alright like that?" He asked me. He was being overly cautious which was slightly annoying but I'll get over it. "Yes, I am perfectly alight like this Lt." I said giving one quick nod. He stood back and rubbed his hands together nervously. He almost walked away but the came back and stood there again looking at me. I looked at him confused. "What are you so jumpy about you idiot?" I said laughing a little. "Nothing. Nothing at all!" He walked around to the driver's side and got in as Shay got in the passenger's side. "And I really don't appreciate the rude comments because in reality you're the idiot…not me." He said cranking up the car. "Do you see what I did there?" He asked smiling and looking back at me. "Yeah I see Lt." I said chuckling and waving back at Hali and Lt Casey. "So who's ready for ice cream?" Shay said rubbing her hands together excitedly. "Meee!" Kelly and I said at the same time.


	11. Author's Note 2

A/N…again: I appreciate the reviews! Keep them coming!

Some of you may be thinking "Isn't she too young for Kelly?" To those people, I get where you're coming from! I hope you look a little deeper into the story and see that what's happening between Kelly and Delilah isn't the everyday "normal" relationship. It may turn out to be just a close bond kind of relationship or maybe not. If you keep reading you will see how their relationship progresses. I hope you do!

~Emma


	12. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey everyone! I hope you all still like the story! Please keep reviewing! P.S. Guests can review! -Emma**

After picking up some food we pulled up to a nice apartment building in downtown Chicago. Kelly parked in a parking garage that was just for the apartment owners. I've seen these kinds of buildings from the outside but have never been inside them. Compared to where I live the parking garage was way nicer!

He put the SUV in park and turned it off. Hopping out of his side of the car he walked around to where I was as Shay got out with my bags in her hand. I unbuckled and pulled my legs around to get out grabbing Kelly's shoulder to steady myself.

"Whoa there Lilah! Let me get you out!" He said with a worried look on his face. I huffed and gave him a frustrated look.

"If you keep carrying me around everywhere I'm never going to be able to walk again!" I said huffing again. I did like how it felt to be carried in his strong arms, my head leaning into his chest and him holding me close.

"Ok then…" He said pulling his hands away from me. I saw Shay hiding a laugh behind him.

"Just stand there and let me lean on you so I can get out." I said making my plan of how exactly I was going to get out. He did as I said and I slowly put weight on my good leg and then my bad one. I finally stood up smiling proudly at what I had accomplished.

"Kelly you can keep trying to help her but I'm starting to think Delilah is just as bull headed as you are." Shay said shaking her head and laughing. Kelly and I both look at her and protested. But in the end she won.

As we finally got to the correct door to the apartment I was about to fall over. I had insisted I could walk with a little assistance from Kelly and I was starting to regret it. My leg was getting more sore with every step.

Hali said the small piece of wood that had gone into my leg from the shrapnel of the ceiling falling through had lightly grazed the muscle in my outer thigh. But she said the surgeons had repaired it and I had nothing to worry about I just needed to be careful for a week or so.

"So here we are." Shay said unlocking the door and letting me and Kelly go in first.

I looked around and was shocked at how nice it was. The living room was over to the right with a large couch and big screen TV hanging above a gas fireplace. There was a spiral staircase leading upstairs where I guessed the bedrooms were. Part of the wall was glass looking over at Chicago down below and the kitchen was really nice.

"Nice place." I said still in awe of everything.

"Yep." Shay said popping the "p". She came in after us and closed the door.

"Let's get you on the couch." Kelly said helping me over to the living area. I limped over and sat down on the couch in relief. Taking the pressure off my leg made it a little better but it was still hurting pretty bad. I normally have a high tolerance of pain but this was just pushing the boundaries of bearable.

"You ok? You're looking a little pale." Kelly said bending down to my level. I felt sick and dizzy from the pain throbbing in my leg. I looked at the wood floor counting the lines trying to breathe slowly.

He looks up at me trying to make eye contact. I heard Shay walk over and put a hand on my shoulder and feeling my pulse. I guess the paramedic in her kicked in.

"Your pulse rate is high and your skin is damp." She put her hand up to my forehead to check and see if I felt feverish. I shuttered when a feeling of coldness went through me.

"Why don't you lie down and put your legs on some pillows. I'm gonna go get a cold damp cloth. You just rest and concentrate and your breathing." She said walking away leaving Kelly to look after me.

They were doing exactly what I didn't want them to. Worrying about me. What I didn't understand was after only 4 days of knowing me they were actually caring how I was. Not just a simple little worry, it was an honest worry.

Kelly got a blanket off of the back of the couch and put it on me. He got some pillows propped up on the cushion and I laid back wincing when I lifted my leg onto the pillow. He stood and looked like he was thinking of what to do next.

"Do you want some juice? We have orange juice, grape juice, or apple juice… and I think we have some other kind too." He said looking rather stupid naming all the juices known to man.

"Any kind of juice is fine Kelly." I said chuckling. He nodded and walked over to the fridge and got a jug of juice out, I noticed he picked the grape juice and I guessed it is his favorite.

Shay walked over with the wet hand towel and placed it on my head. She checked my pulse again and smiled.

"Much better!" She said nodding.

"I'm feeling just peachy now Dr. Shay!" I said laughing a little. After laying back and getting my breathing back to normal I was feeling much better, but not quite peachy.

"Ha that's good. Ready to watch movies and eat ice cream all day?" She asked looking like a kid in a candy store.

"Yes, yes I am!" I said laughing at her excitement.

Kelly walked over with a two glasses of grape juice in his hands and handing me one.

"What's up with all the juice?" Shay asked looking quite confused.

Kelly looked over at her innocently. "Can't a guy and girl have a glass of juice without being questioned about it?"


	13. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'm trying something new in this chapter…a Kelly Severide's POV! Read and let me know if you like it! I want to add Kelly's thoughts and feelings to the story!**

-Kelly's POV

From the first time I saw her eyes she caught my attention. There was something different and almost tortured staring back when she looked over at me with blood running down her face.

She caught my attention but not like what happens when I see beautiful, sexy woman. It's something I can't explain because I can't seem to understand it myself. She made me angry and confused but happy and some other emotion I can't put a name to.

When I saw her standing there in that burning building with those children I was shocked. She went in with no training or knowing if she was going to make it out.

She was strong; I knew that when she first started arguing with me about if she was perfectly fine or not perfectly fine after her bike accident.

But it's like she doesn't have a clue about who she is, like she's still searching for something and when I think about it I have the same problem. I cover up my true self with woman, alcohol, and drowning in my work. I'm kidding myself but I won't stop, I can't stop. I don't want to see me because me isn't that great.

Now Lilah is in my apartment, on my couch, drinking my juice with her feet on my lap. How this happened I have no clue.

We had just finished watching a ton of movies and Shay was getting Lilah's pain meds. When we first got here Lilah looked pretty bad. She had walked all the way from the car to the apartment holding on to me for support. She is so stubborn! It drives me insane!

She was feeling better now after a heavy load of ice cream and a funny movie. There was a little more light in her eyes then there was at the hospital.

The memory of when I walked in on her screaming flashed back to me.

I walked down the hall of the big hospital and heard screaming. I turned a corner and saw nurses rushing into a room looking worried, I got closer and saw it was Lilah's room. I started running and as I got to the door I looked down and saw a drawing of woman in a wheel-chair burning.

I realized what had happened and felt a wave of fear come over me. It had happened to her. The terrible feeling of regret and anger at yourself for leaving someone behind or doing something wrong in a situation like a fire. That feeling is something I deal with all the time, especially with what happened with Darden.

Lilah is strong but no one is strong enough to deal with that.

What I keep feeling when I see her or when she makes some smart ass comment is something I love and hate at the same time. I try to shake it off but it doesn't go anywhere.

She's too young and I'm never interested in younger woman. I try to tell myself its wrong, that I'm losing my mind but I can tell myself that all I want to but it's not going to help. The only thing that will help is if she goes away.

"Whatcha thinking about Lt?" She asks swallowing her pain meds.

"What?" I ask confused. Could she read my mind or something?

"You have a very easy to read thinking face." She said very seriously nodding her head.

"Oh." I said trying not to answer her question.

She must have picked up on me not wanting to answer because she dropped the subject. I moved her feet off my lap and got up walking to the kitchen. Shay was putting up the ice cream that was left, which wasn't very much.

"She's pretty special don't ya think." Shay said lifting her eye brows and smiling. I looked down and went to the fridge to grab beer ignoring her. "Come on Severide. I can see right through you." She said being serious.

"I don't want to talk about it ok Shay! Just drop it!" I said trying to quietly yell so Lilah couldn't hear me.

"Ok ok fine. But you know I'm not going to drop it for long." She said and she was right. When Shay wants something she gets it, even if she has to make you mad as hell to do it. But I still love her.

Shay walked back into the living room to Lilah. Time had flown by; it was almost 6:00. I went back too and Shay was talking to her as I walked closer.

"Yeah you can take a shower. I'll go get some towels for you." Shay said walking up the spiral stairs. She looked back at me. "Could you help her upstairs?"

She didn't wait for an answer but kept going upstairs. Lilah was moving the blanket off of her and starting to get up.

"Umm I may need a little more help than before if you don't mind." She said standing up and wincing at the lightest pressure on her leg.

"I don't mind." I said walking over and carefully picked her up being sure to watch out for her leg. "Don't you even start arguing with me about being carried!" She laughed.

"I wasn't going to but you just reminded me so…" She said smiling mischievously.


	14. Chapter 12

**A/N: Ok this is a filler chapter basically but It's got some funny Kelly/Delilah moments in it. Read and review! :)**

I was standing in Kelly's bathroom after he had brought me up to take a shower trying carefully to take the bandage off my leg. The stitches were holding the skin together and it looked red. I figured it was supposed to be like that but I wasn't looking forward to the hot water hitting it.

I undressed and turned the water on to let it heat up. I slowly stepped in looking forward to the hot water soothing my sore muscles.

The hot water hit my leg and the raw skin screamed in pain. I tried to hold in the pain

"Holy SHIT!" I yelled and stepped away from the water in the walk in shower. "Ah ah ah…" I let out with every breath.

I heard the bedroom door open and a knocking at the bathroom door.

"Delilah you ok?" I heard Shay's say through the water running. The pain was still seething through my leg and I struggled to respond to her.

"Uh yeah fine. I just have the water too hot for my leg." I said trying to hide the pain in my voice. I turned the water down so it was cooler.

I heard a deeper voice whisper and then a higher one. It clicked in my head that both Shay and Kelly were outside the bathroom door whisper yelling…yes whisper yelling is a real thing. Was my scream really that loud?

"I'm fine. I promise!" I said not as convincing as I meant to. I didn't even think of making the water cooler than I normally do.

"You might have burned the raw skin Lilah. Let us in so we can take a look." Kelly said seriously.

Ok I was naked, in his shower with the flesh on my leg burning and he wanted to come in and "take a look". I blushed from the thought that passed through my mind of him seeing me naked. What was wrong with me?

"Um Lt. I'm kinda not wearing clothes at the moment!" I said to him in a nervous way… Oh jeez how did I get myself into this?

"You need to learn to keep your mouth shut you idiot!" I whispered to myself.

"So…I've seen it all before." He said and I heard Shay laugh.

"You haven't seen all of me Lt. and I plan on keeping it that way!" I said firmly.

My leg was feeling better with the cool water hitting it rather than the boiling hot. He didn't respond for a few seconds and I wondered if maybe he left.

"Why do you plan on doing that?" He said mischievously. What was he getting at? I don't know what he was implying, well I guessed and blushed again at the possibility, but it was extremely confusing and I had enough.

"Go away Kelly! I AM FINE!" I said taking my confusion out on him.

I heard a little bump like someone leaned against the door but just told myself I was hearing things. He still didn't reply to me and so I just started washing my hair forgetting about him. I figured he left like I told him to and I smiled in satisfaction at my success in making Kelly listen to me.

"Baby baby ohhh like baby baby ohhh…" I heard a deep voice sing…it sound really really bad! Kelly…grr.

My content smile turned into a frown. "Severide what the HELL are you doing?" I asked firmly.

"Staying outside the door just to make sure you'll be ok…and singing." He said.

When you first meet Kelly you wouldn't think he would be the class clown type but he kinda was in a way.

I started laughing so hard I let soap get in my eyes. He truly was an idiot!

I finished my shower and got out and gently dried my leg wincing a little at the pain that was still there.

"You still there?" I asked smiling.

"Yep." He said popping the "p". I sighed and started scrunching my hair to get some of the water out.

"If you would unlock the door I have some clean clothes for you." I put my bra on and tightly wrapped the towel around me and I didn't like how small it was. Way too short!

"Alright I'm coming out." I said sucking in a big breath.

I unlocked the door and Kelly was standing up from leaning against it. I stuck my hand out for him to give me the clothes. He stood there with a stupid grin on his face not giving me the clothes.

He was trying to play games with me. Sorry Severide that doesn't work with me.

"Kelly give me the clothes!" I tried to snatch them out of his hand but he jerked away laughing.

"Try again." He said holding them up in the air as high as he could. I whined and tried to jump and get them.

"Kelly stop! It's not funny!" I jumped a little more and got them with one hand and he let go but the towel slipped out of my other hand and dropped to the floor before I could catch it.

"Oh shit I'm sorry." He said after looking me over half naked, mostly naked, and turning his head.

I bent down as quickly as possible and got the towel and wrapped it around me and storming into the bathroom with the clothes in my hands. I slammed the door shut and looked at myself in the mirror in shock.

"You are such an ASS Kelly Severide!" I yelled at him. I leaned against the door and sighed. My cheeks were as red as a sunburned pig.

" . …." I said kicking myself for falling for his stupid trick.

I got dressed in the shorts and oversized sweatshirt I was given and opened the bathroom door. No Kelly was waiting outside to greet me…thank goodness.

My pain meds had kicked in and my leg was feeling allot better so I made my way downstairs by myself. I couldn't stay up here hiding all night so I decided to go downstairs with my head held high.

I went down the spiral stairs and I saw Shay and Kelly sitting on the couch just lounging around.

I gave Kelly the worst ever glare I had ever given anyone. Shay noticed this and smacked Kelly lightly on the side of his face.

He looked over at her shocked. "What was that for?!" He half yelled at her.

"Kelly I knew you had done something mean!" She said shaking her head in disappointment. I could tell she was just playing but she was right.

"What? I didn't do anything!" He said to her trying to sound honest. I would've believed him if I wasn't the victim of his pain in the ass self.

"Yeah and I'm a flying pink unicorn!" I said loud enough for all of Chicago to hear.


	15. Chapter 13

**A/N: I want thank all of you that reviewed, followed, and favorited! I LOVE hearing from all of you! Please continue! -Emma**

I got downstairs and collapsed on the couch beside Shay. She looked over at my leg, I hadn't put a bandage back on it because I had no idea how, and she checked to make sure the stitches were still ok.

"I'll go get a bandage and rap your leg up again. It's looking a little aggravated." She got up to grab a bandage and I was left on the couch with Kelly.

I messed with my hair and then poked at my leg waiting for Shay with Kelly just sitting there looking like he had heartburn or something. It was awkward to say the least.

"You're not mad at me are you?" He said looking at my leg watching me cause myself pain for no reason.

I shifted in my seat and thought before I answered. "Why do you care so much about if I'm mad at you or if I'm ok?"

He didn't answer and abruptly got up and went upstairs not looking back to even give me a hint of what the answer could be.

Kelly confused me more than anyone I had ever met. One minute he's joking around, then sometimes I think he's flirting with me, and then he gets mad or upset at a question that needed to be asked and storms off.

Maybe it was me. Maybe there was something about me that he liked or hated. What makes me so mad is that I don't know what I did. The thing is that he doesn't even really know me. He knows how I act and how I look but he doesn't know what my life is like, what I've lived with for my almost 18 years.

I am starting to have the feeling that I want him to know, that I need him to know the whole me. I want him to listen and tell me that he is here for me, that he wants to help me. And I'm scared of that feeling. Why do I have it? Why do I need him to know?

Nothing could ever happen with us but that doesn't stop me from wanting it to. I'm setting myself up for failure and I need to stop but I can't. My wants and needs are getting in my way …Kelly being Kelly is getting in my way.

I snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of a phone ringing. I looked over from the couch, Shay answered while carrying the bandages and anti-bacterial medicine in her hand. She looked confused like she didn't know who it was.

"Um yeah she's right here. Just a sec." Shay said and then she walked over handing the phone to me whispering. "It's for you."

"Hello." I said confused who was calling me on Shay's phone.

"Delilah this is Ruby. I'm not going to be able to get home tonight so can you stay with your friends a little longer?" I knew when she said it was her she was going to say she was busy and can't get home.

"Ruby I can't. I'll be fine at home by myself. You just have a good time." I said really mad at her but it's nothing out of the ordinary.

No foster parent or case worker or anyone ever gives a damn. I've learned to get used to it. I'm better off on my own anyway.

Shay looked at me and gave me a look. "You're staying your ass right here hot shot." She whispered.

"Well I don't care what you do." I heard a noise that sounded like kissing and Ruby giggled. I almost threw up in my mouth because I knew what was going on.

"Look hun I got to go." I didn't even get a chance to say anything before she hung up on me.

I gave the phone back to Shay and she was looking at me with a look of pity. I shook it off and got up.

"She can't be home tonight. I'm just going to take a bus and go home. Thanks for letting me stay today." I said searching for my Converses under the couch. I found them and was surprised to feel a tear rolling down my cheek.

Shay sat down on the couch beside me and watched me tie my shoes on. I kicked myself for letting myself cry. She put her arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to her.

She was rubbing circles around my back and I started sobbing in her chest. Letting the tears come and the feelings take over.

I had no one. My whole life I never had someone to be by my side, to tell me I was their little girl, to protect me. I was never good enough for the people who would look in the foster homes interested in adopting, the couples who wanted a little girl, a little girl who needed a family. I was that little girl! I wanted them! Why didn't they want me?

"Shhh it's ok. You've got me." Shay said almost like she could read my mind.

Maybe I had her. Maybe she cared.

I stopped crying as hard and sat up and looked her in the eyes.

"Do I? Do you care?" I asked sniffling and wiping my eyes.

She put her hands at the sides of my head lightly and smiled. "You have me Delilah. Always."

She was crying a little bit but now they looked to be happy tears. Mine were happy tears now too. I smiled and hugged her.

"Now untie those shoes and let me put your bandage on." She wiped away her tears and started unwrapping the paper around the paper while I took my shoes off.

**-Kelly's POV**

I watched from the top of the stairs as Lilah cried and Shay held her. I had to wipe away a stray tear that had escaped my eyes that don't normally produce tears.

It me angry that I had walked off earlier when she asked me why I cared because it hit me that she isn't used to people caring.

I knew she was an orphan or she was put up for adoption when she was a baby. I found that out from Casey, Hali had told him since she had Lilah's records from the hospital.

I cared. I cared more than I can understand. I tried to tell myself it was just like a feeling that an older brother had for a little sister but truthfully it was so far from that.

She needed me but I couldn't lead her on, that would only hurt her. I would just have to distance myself from her as much as I could and hope that was enough.

I wouldn't hurt her because to be honest I think I would fall apart without her. I had this strange connection with her, like she was a part of me. Like she was the missing puzzle piece that I had lived without with my whole life but somehow I found out I wouldn't be living without her.

After Shay wrapped the bandage around Lilah's leg she texted me. "Going out for a while. Take care of her."

Lilah got up off the couch while I still looked on from the stairs. She limped over to the sliding door that leads to the balcony. She was still crying a bit. Not sobbing but tears were still falling down her perfect cheek bones.

I needed to talk to her, to clear things up between us so I followed her out. She hadn't noticed me behind her yet so I stood and watched her silhouette in the darkness.

Her hair was drying into a wavy mass of light brown silk, her waist curving in and then out as her hips poked out slightly with her tank top riding up, long legs followed as my eyes went down. I breathed heavily with so many thoughts rushing through my brain.

She heard me and jumped turning around quickly almost falling. I watched as her chest went up and down with every breath.

"Sorry I scared you." I said and she said nothing turning back around to look at the sky.

It was a normal chilly Chicago night and I saw her shivering wrapping her arms around her waist. I stepped behind her and slowly put my arms around her to warm her up.

She wiggled slightly protesting with my strength to let her go but then she relaxed and leaned against my chest her breathing slowing along with mine.

She fit so perfectly in my arms. Her warmth going right into my heart making me feel whole.

But then my mind started protesting with my heart telling me "Kelly don't do this! You're just going to hurt her like you hurt everyone else."


	16. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry for not updating the past few days! Here's the next chapter. Read and review! -Emma**

The feeling of his strong arms around me was amazing. It made my heart beat quicken and my breathing become heavy. I could feel his breath on my neck and his hips behind me pressing into my back. He was so close, like he was a part of me. I wanted him to be closer to me. I know I shouldn't want that, it wasn't right, but I felt so safe with him.

I'm starting to wonder why I feel this was with him. I'd never ever felt like this before and it scared me and made me feel so alive at the same time. I could feel the control over myself slipping away, letting myself get attached to him, letting my heart and weird urges take over.

I have to stop before I lose all control and end up getting hurt. Kelly would never hurt me, not physically, but he has this thing about him that could make me hurt myself by falling for him.

But I have to talk to him. I have to understand why he cares or seems to care. If I don't find out I will go crazy!

"You never answered me." I said leaning forward onto the railing of the small balcony. He let go of me and leaned on the railing too looking down at the traffic on the street below.

"I don't know how to." He said. His voice was almost shaky sounding.

I didn't want to make him answer. He was apparently having trouble understanding why he cared too.

"Thank you. F-for caring." I said getting emotional.

It was allot to take in. I had not only Shay but also Kelly that cared. I didn't know how to react. I felt a tear rolling down my face. I wiped it away and tried to suck it up. I am strong and I don't cry over my stupid life.

"Why are you upset?" He asked. I hadn't looked at him since I started crying. He would think I was a child crying for nothing.

"I-I'm not upset." I said lying to him.

I am trying to hold it together but I can't. Why? My life isn't that bad. I could be dying or abused. I never had anyone to care about me but I kept going, I lived.

"Yeah you are. I don't get it." He said confused but concerned.

I was getting angry, angry at everything! There was a lump in my throat and it hurt from holding my tears in. I closed my fists and needed to hit something. I just blew up.

"No! You don't get it! You have no idea what my life is like! I have no one! Never have! I'm alone in this huge shitty world and I hate it! I hate it Kelly!" I shouted at him. He just stood there shocked.

I was breathing so hard and I just needed to scream so I did, as loud as I could through my sobs and violent shaking.

I fell to the ground and curled up into a ball wrapping my arms around my legs. My whole body was shaking from crying and being so cold.

I felt a hand on my back softly rubbing and my hair being pulled away from my face. I looked behind me and Kelly was sitting against the wall with his legs spread apart.

"Come here Lilah." He said putting his arms around my waste pulling me to him.

I moved back between his legs and rested my head on his chest. He kissed my forehead lightly and held me while I cried soothing me.

**-Kelly's POV**

She was hurt way more than I ever realized. I hated it. She never had anyone which means she's been in the system her whole life. Why would no one want her?

I don't understand that at all. Lilah is amazing! She deserves someone to love her.

I wanted to hold her forever and tell her everything was going to be alright but I don't think there is anything I can do to fix her pain, to make it all better.

She had calmed down and it was getting colder outside so I got up and carried her inside and up the stairs to my bedroom. I set her on my bed and layed down beside her.

We stayed there in silence for a while just listening to each other breathe. I thought about what she's gone through and how my childhood wasn't that different.

My mom died when I was 8 and my dad was never really there after that. He started drinking and blaming me for her dying. He said I put too much stress on her and that's why she died.

My mom loved me more than anything and I loved her. I was so young when she died I didn't really understand everything. I knew she left and wasn't coming back.

But the difference between my life and Lilah's is that I had someone that loved me, for only a short time but I still had it. Maybe that's why she doesn't know what to do when someone tries to care for her. It's like she wants it so bad but doesn't know how to accept it.

"Lilah I get it now. I just want you to know that." She breathed deeply and looked over at me propping her head in her hand.

"You wanna know something interesting?" She asked me with a smile hinting at her lips.

"Uh yeah sure." I said confused at her change of mood.

"I hate being so depressed. Could you do something stupid so I can laugh? Please?" She asked with a pleading look on her face, her full bottom lip poked out and her eyes blinking sweetly.

"I could sing again." I said with a cheesy smile on my face. She looked horrified and jumped off the bed.

"Noooo please no!" She just made a big mistake. I got up off the bed and she put her hands over her ears.

"I'm SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" I sang at the top of my lungs and dancing around.

"You are so stupid!" She said laughing so hard she couldn't catch her breath.

"You asked for it!"

**A/N: Ok I hope you guys aren't getting bored with the story. There will be a pretty big change in the next few chapters so stick around!**


	17. Chapter 15

**A/N: I'm SO happy you guys are liking the story so far! I love the reviews so much! Thank you to all the readers and especially those who review! Love you awesome people! :) -Emma**

I held my hands over my ears as Kelly sang "I'm Sexy and I Know It" as loud as he possibly could. He was really enjoying torturing me, I could tell.

"Holy hell would you stop?! I beg of you please!" I said feeling a massive head ache coming fast.

He finally stopped and I laid down back on the bed recovering from the almost head piercing sound. He laughed and sat down beside me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked me. I knew what he was asking. He wanted me to talk about why I had screamed and what I had meant when I said "I have no one."

"I'm in the government system for kids without families. I have been for all my life. I go from one foster home to another and never know how it's going to be there. Some are ok and others are…bad." I said emotionless.

My mind went back to when I was 11 and in a home in southern Illinois.

I was one of five kids in the home and I was the oldest. When I got there it was fine at first, nothing out of the ordinary, but then things started happening that I didn't like. My foster dad started touching me sometimes and at the time I didn't understand. It got worse and then eventually the state moved me.

I don't know if they found out or just wanted to move me for another reason. I mentally shut down when everything was happening to where I don't even remember most of it.

"I'm so sorry." He said taking my hand in his. I came back to the present and realized how upset he looked.

"Don't be! It's fine now." I said half smiling. He didn't smile back and it worried me.

"What's wrong? You look sad." I said after he didn't respond.

"No, it's not fine. Why do you think its fine for you to go through that? You didn't deserve it!" He said getting really upset now.

It was strange and I was wondering if the emotions weren't even about me. Was there something Kelly had bottled up inside?

"Kelly calm down. What's going on? You can talk to me ok?" I said looking him right in the eye to make sure he knew I meant what I said.

"My childhood wasn't as bad as yours. It's nothing serious. I'm fine." He said looking out the window.

I felt like giving him a good slap on the face. Why didn't he want to talk to me? Did he really think his problems were less important than mine?

"Lt. Kelly Severide don't you dare make your problems less important than mine! My ears are just as good at listening as yours! Now spill!" I said seriously. I think he heard me now.

He gave me a sad smile and squeezed the bridge of his nose. I want to be here for him just like he is for me. Like friends should.

"It's just my mom died when I was a kid and my dad hated me. It was really hard on me. A-and I blame myself for maybe not being the best son." He said having trouble saying the words.

He had kept something bottled up inside. I could see the emotion spilling out of him. There was something in his eyes that was more apparent than before, it was pain. It was always there but he held most of it back until now.

I put my hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed trying to relax him.

"I don't think I can fix your problems just like you can't fix mine but I can be here for you to listen or whatever you need. Ok Kel?" I said being as strong as I could for him.

"Ok Lilah." He said wiping a stray tear off of his cheeks.

"Can I join the party?" Shay said running and jumping onto the bed right between us.

I could smell the booze strongly on her breath. She was in the really happy stage of being wasted.

"Um sure Shay!" Kelly said holding his nose and looking at me.

I laughed at his funny face and patted Shay on the top of her head.

"Have fun Shay?" I asked her giggling.

"Oooh yeahhh!" She said raising a silver flask into the air and taking a drink.

Shay fell asleep soon after that and Kelly and I just talked for a while. We talked about how it was for me in the foster homes and what it was like for him living with his dad after his mom died.

It was nice to let everything out and to listen to him. And we decided to be friends. The sound of him saying "We're friends right?" almost was painful.

Not that I didn't want to be friends it's just I felt like he "friend zoned" me. I understand why he did it, he didn't want me to be thinking the wrong things about us, but it was too late to stop me from thinking and feeling what he obviously didn't want. Way too late Kelly!

**-Kelly's POV**

I knew she was hurting. Her life hasn't exactly been an American dream. From what she told me she had a pretty shitty time in the foster homes. I hated it for her and I would never let anything like that happen to her again!

She was starting to become a part of the "family" that Shay and I had. A very messed up but mostly happy family. We helped each other and had allot of fun but sometimes we would fight, not like bad fights but we had our misunderstandings.

I told her about my childhood and she was so understanding. I didn't think I would ever tell anyone about how hard it was when I was a kid but it is so easy to talk to her. I felt so much better now, I couldn't believe it.

I said it and so did she. We're friends, nothing more, even though I was lying through my teeth when I said "friends". She still drove me crazy. Her smile, eyes, body, everything drove me insane all the time.

I need to find a distraction from her. I will find a distraction from her.


	18. Chapter 16

Shay and I were out doing some shopping before she and Kelly had to go in for their 24 hour shift at 7:00pm. She took me to all of her favorite stores and dressed me up like I was a life size doll. I told her not to buy me a thing but she insisted and bought what felt like half of every store.

While we were out we stopped by Hali's house and she looked at my leg and said it was healing really well. She was impressed at how well I was walking and said the stitches could come out as soon as tomorrow.

We had been gone for a long time and I was exhausted and my leg was hurting a little bit. Shay parked and her phone rang and she told me to go on upstairs.

I hauled my handful of shopping bags to the elevator and got inside pressing the 6th floor. I finally got there and walked to the correct room and found the key in my pocket Shay had given me after dropping the bags to the ground.

I unlocked the door and picked up the bags not even looking up when I walked in.

I heard heavy breathing and looked over at the couch and there was a woman naked on top of… it was Kelly!

I froze and didn't know how to react. It felt like someone was taking a knife and stabbing and twisting a knife into my heart. Tears started stinging my cheeks as the woman was thrusting herself onto him.

They hadn't heard me and I was glued to the floor. I couldn't breathe or think about anything other than how much I was hurting and how confused I was.

"What the hell is going on?!" Shay yelled from the door.

The woman looked over shocked at me and Shay standing there. She stared at me standing there crying frozen as a block of ice. I hint of compassion came over her pretty features.

Kelly leaned up off of the couch with the woman still on top of him and he saw Shay first not noticing me.

"Shay I-I…you weren't supposed to be home yet. Is Lilah…" Shay cut him off pointing at me.

"Lilah's right there you ass hole!" He looked over at me finally and turned a pale white color and tried to say something but I ran out as fast as I could. He didn't have a chance to say anything and I didn't want to hear.

I ran down the 6 flights of stairs out the front door into the streets of Chicago not stopping until I got to the park. I fell onto the ground beside a tree and just fell apart. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why did I let myself fall for him?

I love him.

**A/N: Short chapter and please don't try to kill me! Every story isn't happy and perfect all the time so please just stay with me! Ahh this is a major plot change...told you there would be one! REVIEW!**


	19. Chapter 17

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter! It was so amazing to write it! The Kelly/Delilah relationship has gotten pretty rocky but the Shay/Delilah "big sister/little sister" relationship grew allot! Read, review and PM me if you have any questions! -Emma**

**Kelly's POV**

I tried to get Lilah off my mind by having another woman distract me. But she didn't ever escape my mind. When I was doing it with Anne I was thinking of Lilah.

I was thinking of how much I wanted to have her with me all the time, to be able to kiss her whenever I wanted to, to take care of her and love her.

Whenever I want to get my mind off of something that is bothering me I can just find a sexy woman and my thoughts are controlled by major dumps of testosterone. I hated myself for thinking that I could just have sex with another woman and Lilah would be gone out of my heart.

When I saw her standing there with a look of pure pain and anger on her face I was surprised. I realized I had just broken the heart of that beautiful, amazing girl. She may have my heart but I didn't know I had hers.

As she ran out a part of me blew up into a million pieces, a part of me that had been cold as ice until she came into my life. I never felt alive before I met her. Sometimes I thought maybe I didn't have a heart, that's why I was always angry and hated so much.

She was like fire to my ice. So alive and wild that she melted me. A new side of me came out when that happened now that I think about it.

Shay was fuming. I hadn't seen her that angry in a long long time.

She threw her keys straight at my head and flung her hands in the air.

"Do you have any idea what you just did?! Dammit Kelly!" She screamed at me and paced the floor cursing under her breath but loud enough for me to hear.

"You don't get it!" I yelled at her while pulling my pants on.

"You know what I don't! I don't get why you fall for an amazing girl and act like you haven't and then go off and break her heart like a complete idiot! Please forgive me for not getting that Severide!" She screamed at me while Anne let herself out.

I sat down on the couch and hung my head between my knees. I could feel my own heart tearing to pieces but I did it to myself. I broke Lilah's heart and mine.

"I didn't know what to do Shay. I-I'm just so confused. I never knew she had feelings for me… a- and now I know I've hurt her." I said struggling to get the words out.

"I was just trying to get her off my mind…it didn't work." I felt sick. Every bad emotion was swimming through me, pain, anger, sadness, disgust, shame, and fear.

Shay sat down beside me and let a big breath out.

"The first time I realized you liked her is when you saved her from that fire. You stayed beside her and held her hand the whole time I was treating her. There is something special about her that just changed you and changed me." She said.

"But she's so young. Why do I feel like this for a 17 year old girl?" I said frustrated.

"She's 18, today is her birthday. Halli told me and Dawson and we had a party planned at the firehouse tonight. But anyway who the hell cares how old she is Kelly?! She's amazing and you two have this crazy, weird and great connection!"

"I messed it all up now Shay! It's over! She hates me now! I hate me…" I said getting up and walking to the window rubbing my shoulder that was hurting me.

"No. She loves you Kel! Love doesn't just go away because some ass hole does something really shitty. Believe me I know how that goes." She said with a hint of sadness coming over her face.

Maybe I could fix this. Maybe somehow she will trust me and I can make her heartache go away.

"Where is she? Did she go upstairs? I didn't even pay attention!" Shay said panicking.

"She ran out! I was going after her but then didn't! Shit!" I said pulling a shirt over my head and quickly tying my shoes on.

"Oh no! I've gotta find her! She's probably a wreck!" Shay said grabbing her keys off the floor and running to the door.

I ran with her to the door but then she turned around and stopped me.

"Kelly you've done enough. Now isn't the time to talk to her." She said sadly. I nodded knowing she was right and I hated that.

"See you at 51. Don't worry Kelly, I'll find her."

**Delilah's POV**

I picked up every stick or rock and threw them as hard as I could screaming with all I had. Crying and sobbing so hard I barely could breathe.

It felt like someone was throwing knives at my heart. Every hit would make me scream even louder and throw even harder.

All the pain and anger and regret came flooding in tearing me apart. I didn't blame Kelly for having a woman over and having sex with her, I'm sure he did that all the time, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

I blamed myself for falling for someone that would never love me. I should have known there is something so wrong with me that I can't be loved, no one ever has.

I fell onto the itchy grass and put my hands on my face sobbing into them. I could taste the salty tears dripping into my mouth and feel the cool breeze of Chicago tickling my skin. Reality fell into place and my heart decided to always stay the way it is now…in pain.

"Lilah? Sweetie come here." I heard someone say behind me.

I looked over my shoulder and through my hazy eyes I say the blonde hair of Shay sitting behind me. I crawled over to her and just collapsed on her chest. She held me as I cried in her arms.

"I-I love him Shay." I said not sure if she understood me through my sobbing.

I needed to tell someone and I trusted Shay to understand. She was so great to me. She treated me like a little sister. I had seen sisters and I always wanted one.

"I know. Shh…" She said rubbing my back and soothing me.

***About an hour later***

We sat there in the middle of the park for a while not saying a word. I looked at Shay's watch and it was getting close to 7:00. I knew she had to work then.

I leaned away from here and she held my hand smiling weakly. I had calmed down but the ever growing pain was still there.

"Shouldn't you be getting to work?" I asked her.

I didn't know what I was going to do know. Everything seemed wrong, like there really wasn't anything that I could do right.

"I can call in sick." She said looking for her phone in her bag.

"Don't you dare. I'll be fine!" I said wiping my eyes with the back of my hands trying to act as fine as possible.

"No Lilah you won't. You won't be fine by yourself, no matter how much you tell yourself that." She said hugging me around my neck.

She leaned back and I realized she was crying too, her eyes red and puffy like she was feeling my pain. I didn't want to make Shay carry my problems around with her but she was right, I wasn't ok by myself.

"I'll call Halli. She's off and I'm sure she would be happy to have you over for a night of ice cream and romantic/sad movies." She said taking her phone and dialing Halli's number.

I nodded and looked up at the sun setting, it was so beautiful. It looked like fire! Red and purple wispy clouds painted across the sky giving this day the smallest amount of beauty.

This day was my birthday, the day my mother gave me life and left me to live alone. I never celebrated it because I never found anything great in the day I was born, nothing but pain came from it.

"Oh and happy birthday beautiful!" Shay said driving me to Halli's house.

"Thanks." I said smiling a little bit.

"I am so glad you were born and I don't say that about allot of people so you should be honored!" Shay said chuckling.

"Believe me, I am so honored!"


	20. Chapter 18

**A/N: Delilah is just going trough the motions now. My heart breakes for her! More Kelly in the next chapter! Read and review! -Emma**

I made no plans of what was coming after my 18th birthday. Before I met Station 51 I just wanted to go off on my own but I had true friends now and I wasn't going anywhere.

Dawson said I could stay with her as long as I wanted to and so did Halli. I was so grateful for them but I am going to find a job and support myself as soon as I could.

Shay said she would kick Kelly out so I could stay with her. She was joking but I could still tell she was pissed at Kelly. They were really close and I hated to pull them apart so I told Shay not to blame Kelly.

After spending the night with Halli she took me to the doctor to get my stitches out. He gave me the green light to go back to normal activities.

Shay had called a few times to check on me. She was like my rock, I needed her more than I even realized. I knew we were going to be friends for a long time, along with Dawson and Halli. They were all like big sisters to me.

As I was sitting on the balcony of Halli's apartment she slid the glass door open with her cell phone in her hand.

"It's Shay." She whispered. I took the phone from her and answered.

"Hey Shay. What's up?" I said figuring she was calling to check on me again.

"Hey Del. My shift will be over soon so if you want to come by the station in a few I can take you by Ruby's to get your stuff. Sound good?" She said.

I didn't answer and there was a pause in our conversation.

"Or you could just wait until after shift and meet me after…um everyone is gone."

By everyone she meant Kelly. My breath got caught in my throat and my chest started hurting when I thought of Kelly being there. I didn't want to see him but I knew I would never get over him if I hid from him and all of the shit that happened.

I needed to act like nothing happened; like I was fine and I didn't care what he did. I needed to be a bitch to him like I should've been the whole time instead of letting my walls fall. I will shut him out again.

"No I'll be there in a few. See ya then!" I said acting happy. I wasn't happy, I was mad as all hell!

"You sure?" She asked confused and worried.

"Sure as hell Shay! Sure as HELL!"

I walked back inside and Halli was drinking some coffee. She looked up from her drink and lifted her eye brows when I strutted in looking pretty pissed.

"I'm going to the station to meet Shay. Maybe hand out for a while." I said brushing my hair out with my fingers.

"You're not looking like that!" She said walking over and leading me to her room.

I took a quick shower and Halli blew out my hair and scrunched it to create allot of body in my naturally wavy hair. She did my make-up which I wasn't used to at all. After she finished that she walked out of the bathroom into her closet.

She came back after throwing some clothes on her bed. Carrying black lingerie she walked back in. I looked at the lace push-up bra and panties with eyes wide.

"What the hell?" I asked shocked. She laughed and shook her head.

"Shay said to make you look like a hot so… I'm going all out!" She said handing me the lingerie and smiling.

"Now put these on, the cup size was always too big for me so they should fit you." She said and I threw my head back laughing.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" I looked at my breasts in the mirror under the robe I had on. I guess they were a little big. Awkward…

"Just put them on!" She walked out and closed the door. I did as she told and walked out of the door in only the black lace. I was super comfortable around her so it was ok.

"DAMN GIRL!" She said with her mouth hanging open and hands clapping together.

I blushed and looked at the clothes on the bed. There was black shorts that were frayed at the ends, a thin lacy dark grey tank top, a black leather jacket, and black combat boots. It was all so me but with a little more edge than normal.

"I went through a sexy/edgy stage before I got boring." She said throwing me the clothes as I changed.

"You're not boring Halli! I love your style!" I said and she smiled stepping back to get a good look at me.

You could see a little bit of black bra peeking through the lacy shirt and the combat boots were just awesome. It fit my emotions perfectly!

" .Amazing!" She said grabbing her purse off the bed and taking my hand dragging me out to the car.

"Let's go show you off hot stuff!" She said looking excited.

It was so funny how much she was enjoying dressing me up. She was supporting me and my wanting to be strong and bitchy.

As we drove into the station parking lot I could see all the trucks were in the bay. She put the car in park and looked over at me smiling.

"You ready?" She asked turning the car off and getting her purse.

"I'll be in a second. You go ahead." I said feeling my stomach start forming knots.

My hands were getting sweaty but I got myself together and got out of the car. The steam fueling my anger was getting hotter and hotter. I wasn't going to lie down and die because I didn't get what I want, I was going to put my head up and show Kelly how much he was missing.

I started walking and saw the squad guys were playing card. One of the guys looked up and noticed me walking in. His eyes got as huge as I had ever seen anyone's eyes and he stupidly smiled dropping his cards.

Kelly was facing away from me so he couldn't see me but he saw the other guys' faces as they noticed me. He looked over his shoulder and his face turned red and his cards fell all over the floor. I looked straight ahead at the door leading into the lounge.

One of the guys whistled and I just kept going smirking a little at their reaction.

I was just about to walk into the lounge but paused and looked over my shoulder at Kelly. His piercing blue eyes tore into the walls that I had put up to keep him out.

He was already in my heart and there was no way to get him out. My whole "being a strong ass bitch" attitude fell a million stories into the freaking Sahara Desert! It was long gone…


	21. Chapter 19

**A/N: First of all I would like to say OH MY HOLY HELL at the last episode! I'm seriously a mess after that one... Read, review and wish upon a star that Kelly STAYS in Chicago! -Emma**

**Kelly's POV**

I had tried to find a way to talk to Lilah but being on shift made it impossible. I needed to tell her how I felt, that I loved her like hell. Keeping it all inside and not telling her was killing me.

When I saw her beautiful blue eyes filled with fresh tears staring at me it felt like they were piercing through my soul, like she was tearing me up inside with them. From that point I knew something was going on inside her but I didn't know what.

I want to understand her feelings because honestly I had no clue what was going on in her head. She is a huge mystery to me.

I hoped she would come to me and tell me how much she loved me but I know Lilah, that wasn't going to happen. She was a master at keeping her feelings inside, I got them out though. Maybe I could do it again.

The 24 shift was almost over and I was really looking forward to it. I hadn't slept at all, we were pretty busy through the night and I didn't get much sleep night before last either.

The Squad guys and I were playing poker to pass the time and I had a full house that I went all in on. I looked up from my cards and Halli walked by going into the lounge, I figured she was going to see Casey since shift was almost over.

"I fold." One of the guys said slapping his cards on the table.

"Holy hell..." Someone said quietly sounding shocked at something. I looked up at him and he looked like a deer in the headlights.

"What?" I said questioning him.

"Turn around." He said not taking his eyes off of whatever he was looking at.

I turned around with my cards still in my hand…but not for long.

My stomach instantly starting going insane and my heart rate picked up making my breath quicken. What I saw made my thoughts go crazy, everything inside of me was telling me to get up, grab her and never let go.

She looked…amazing. So attractive she would make any man go crazy.

As she strutted into the bay with her head held high and not a hint of sadness in her it killed me. Maybe she didn't care about what happened but I wanted her to care.

She was about to go into the lounge but then she turned her head and gave me that piercing look that tore into me.

I will make this right.

**Delilah's POV**

I went into the lounge and tried to hold myself together.

"You hate him, remember?" I thought to myself.

I found Shay and walked over to her sticking my hand up awkwardly waving. She looked surprised to see me, or maybe it wasn't me it was the clothes.

She was in the kitchen with the candidate Mills getting food ready for dinner. I took a bite of the pasta he was cooking and smiled.

"It's really good." I said finishing my bite. He noticed me for the first time looking up from concentrating on his creation.

His eyes got wide and Shay laughed choking on her water. I looked over at her and gave her a "stop it" look but she continued…of course she did.

"You're ass looks nice in those shorts Del. Doesn't it Peter?" She asked him. I mentally slapped her and tried to occupy myself with preparing myself a drink.

He stuttered and tried to respond but I didn't give him the chance.

"Shay give the guy a break!" Herrmann said walking over. I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I was just asking the Candidate how this lovely visitor's ass looked in those shorts. It's a simple question." Shay said putting her hands up in defense and giving Mills a slap on the back.

I went over to help him make a salad. He was still blushing and looking over at me in quick glances.

"Sorry about that." I whispered to him smiling.

His shoulders relaxed and he let out a sigh of relief. I chuckled a little and kept making the salad.

Looking up at the lounge door opening I saw the Squad guys following the smell of food. The last one to come in was Kelly and my blood started boiling again.

I looked down at what I was doing and bent my neck over to try and release the tension that was building. I could feel my cheeks burning and my forehead creasing as I mutilated the tomato for the salad.

"Um I think its cut up enough there hun." Shay said standing beside me. I realized that the tomato was basically mush and sighed.

"I'm sorry. I-I just got carried away with it." I said massaging my neck. Whenever I get angry my neck always gets tight.

"You seriously need to go boxing with me sometime! It's great for releasing anger." She said patting my back and walking away.

Was it really that obvious that I was angry? Maybe Shay was the only one that noticed.

I carried the salad to the big table that was in the lounge/kitchen and pulled my hair back. I was getting hot so I took my jacket off and threw it on the couch. I started seriously regretting wearing the see through and too short tank top…

I just forgot about it and went to get my drink I had left in the kitchen. Everyone was at the table I thought but when I got to the kitchen I found out I was wrong.

Kelly was shutting the fridge and I caught his eye for a second but let them find something else to look at. The tension was so thick you would need a chain saw to cut it.

"We need to talk." He said standing behind me as I picked up my drink and took a sip.

"About what Lt.?" I said looking at him with my head cocked to the side.

Yeah that's right Kelly. I'm not falling for it. Not anymore.

He looked frustrated and rubbed his eyes. He didn't respond quickly enough for me so I decided to just leave him there standing.

Shay gave me two thumbs up and a quick wink as we sat down at the table to eat. It was about 6:30 so the shift was almost over. I was ready to be out of this place and away from Kelly.

After we ate I helped clean the table as the new shift workers came in and at what was left. Shay walked over.

"Hey could you go get my stuff out of my locker? I need to talk to Boden real quick." She said pulling her hair into a neater pony tail.

"Yep. Sure can." I said nodding. She gave me her lock number and I went to the locker rooms.

I couldn't hear anyone in there since everyone was already done changing and stuff. I walked over to Shay's locker and twisted to lock in the correct pattern to open it.

I jumped at the sound of another locker opening and looked around to see who was in there. I tip toed around to the other row of lockers and just about fell on my face when I saw a guy in just black briefs standing with his back to me.

I tried to make a quick exit without him noticing, but no, my luck sucks so that didn't happen. I tripped over a bench and fell on my ass instead of my face.

"SHIT!" I said under my breath. I didn't move because for some reason I thought maybe he didn't hear me. Stupid me…

I looked up and there was Kelly. I got up quickly and grabbed Shay's stuff heading for the exit.

"Lilah wait!" He said loudly behind me.

I stopped in my tracks and thought about if I should stay or keep going out. I decided to stay and face him, if I had to tell him how I felt and then tell him that I still hated him I would.

"What Kelly?!" I yelled at him louder than I planned to.

My blood was on fire and it was all I could do to stop myself from introducing his junk to Halli's combat boots.

"We need to talk about-" I cut him off.

"About what Kelly?! Please do explain to me what there is to talk about!" I screamed at him dropping Shay's bag on the ground.

He shuddered at the tone of my voice but he didn't seem to be getting angry.

"What happened yesterday." He said grabbing a towel and wrapping in around his waist.

"Oh you mean you screwing that woman and me seeing it! Do you really think I care what you do? Is that it?!" I said turning my back to him briefly.

"Lilah please listen to me. It didn't mean anything! I was just trying to get some stuff out of my head!" He said forcefully.

I was freaking out inside. My heart was going to explode any minute. I didn't know what to say I just wanted to run.

"No you listen to me! I don't care!" I yelled at him with less anger and more pain. There was a knot in my throat that was hurting while I was holding back sobs and crying.

"But I do care Lilah!" He said walking to me.

I was trying to take in his words but I didn't understand. He cares?

"What?" I said quietly. He took a deep breath and tried to form words but couldn't seem to.

I gave up and turned around and started walking out. The tears were coming and I couldn't hold them back anymore.

I started running and I was almost to the door and I heard his loud voice echoing through the locker room.

"I love you Lilah!"


	22. Chapter 20

**A/N: Here is the next chapter! I know it's short but I update almost everyday so you will survive! Read and review! And don't worry, this is NOT the end! **

When I heard him say those three words I thought I was imagining it. The way he said it shocked me. There was no hesitation in his voice, no second guessing the words he said.

My head was trying to keep my heart from believing Kelly by telling me it wasn't possible for me to be loved. I have always been so scared that my head was right; I can't be loved because I'm just not good enough and I don't deserve it.

I had never felt love before but for some reason I knew I loved Kelly. People say love takes time and effort that it's not something that easily happens but I don't believe that.

There shouldn't be some set time frame that it takes to fall in love, an amount of effort there should be for it to happen, or a difficulty level for what is made out to be a task by some people.

There is no step by step instruction manual on how to fall in love or who to fall in love with, it just happens and only the people who are truly in love know this.

I ran into the brisk night air outside Firehouse 51, every nerve in my body tingling and only one person on my mind.

I wasn't sure what to do so I just stood there in the driveway and tried to calm down but I couldn't. My heart was racing which made my head spin and my thoughts race around.

If he loved me why did he sleep with that other woman? Why didn't I pick up on the slightest hint that he even liked me a little? Why did I let myself fall for him in the first place?

I knew the answer to the last question. I didn't let myself fall for him, I never had control over it.

A single tear ran down my red hot cheeks making me shutter. I wrapped my arms around my waist and turned around.

Kelly was leaning against the bay doors with his hands in his pockets. Looking at his steely blue eyes I saw that he had a tear forming.

If he did love me I know I had hurt him telling him I didn't care. That was my intension when I said it, I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me, but now I hated I did.

I breathed deeply and he didn't move, he just stood there watching me.

**Kelly's POV**

I just spit it out. I yelled at the top of my lungs that I love her.

I felt like an idiot doing it that way but I didn't know what else to do. I needed her to know and the only way to make her listen was to yell it through the locker room or pin her down on the ground and tell her. I went for the less violent option.

Lilah said she didn't care that I was with another woman, that she didn't care what I did and that hurt like hell.

I was so afraid I had lost her for good that I had messed things up so much that they couldn't be reversed.

I put some clothes on and went outside to go after Lilah. I wasn't going to let her get away, I never will. I found her in the driveway pacing and hugging herself. She had her back to me so I couldn't see her face.

I never believed in the "true love" stuff people talked about, I believed in attraction to people but no real attachment to them, but know I have changed my mind.

What I have for Lilah is not just attraction; it's full on emotional attachment to her. I was feeling like absolute shit after she said she didn't care about me but that didn't make my love for her get weaker. If anything it got stronger.

Looking at her beautiful silhouette in the darkness made my emotions go wild. I don't cry over very much, but the hurt got to me and I did let a tear slip.

She turned around and we caught each other's eyes. I didn't move, just stood there and watched her search through my face to find what she wanted to.

I saw a tear roll down her cheeks and then she started running to me. She stopped right in front of me and looked deeply into my eyes like she was looking for something.

"I lied." She whispered to me looking down at her hands.

I took her hand in mine and let her finish without saying anything back to her.

"I do care." She said with more power looking at me for my reaction.

I honestly wasn't very sure how to react. All I could think of was connecting her lips with mine.

I let go of her hand and ran my fingers across her face to wipe away the tear running down. She put her hand lightly on my chest and I leaned in and our lips met.

I needed my lips slowly into hers and she kissed back making a shiver run down my spine. I put one hand on her hip pushing her short shirt up so my skin was on hers and she moved closer to me so our bodies were touching.

Letting me in farther she sighed and I tightened my grip on her waist pulling her closer but pulled back tenderly placing kisses on her forehead and at the corners of her lips.

As bad as I didn't want to stop I did. She looked at me and smiled a little bit.

"I love you too Kelly. I always will." She said and wrapped her arms around my neck.

I just held her close to me. The warmth of her body and the feeling of my lips still tingling from her kiss made me relax. My heartbeat slowed and I knew this was right.

She is right for me and nothing will change that. My love for her will never go away; she will always be a part of me no matter what we might go through.


	23. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hey readers! Sorry for how short this chapter is! I have been super busy! Thank you for all the reviews, PMs, follows, and favorites! Love hearing from all of you! ****P.S. This story will not be ending anytime soon! I repeat WILL NOT BE ENDING SOON! -Emma**

My head was spinning like hell but I felt so happy and safe in Kelly's arms. The way he kissed me was amazing! It was so tender but rough at the same time. The way he grabbed my hips just about made me pass out.

Kelly picked me up and spun me around, I laughed as I was getting dizzy. I couldn't stop laughing because I was really ticklish where he had his hands.

"Kelly put me down!" I said through fits of laughter.

"Why? Does that tickle?" He said not stopping and enjoying my laughter.

"Yeeeessss!" I said exaggerating my answer.

"Are you trying to kill her or something?!" Shay said walking up. I hadn't noticed her coming since I couldn't focus on anything but that horribly ticklish spot on my rib cage.

Kelly set me on the ground but still held onto me as I found my balance. Shay looked back and forth at us like she had seen an alien.

"What's going on? I smell something fishy!" She said putting her hands on her hips and squinting her eyes to seem serious.

I looked at Kelly and then at Shay. Kelly squeezed my hand and then smiled the way he did when I told him I love him.

Shay looked at us as we had the exchange of smiles.

"Oooohhh shit! I knew it! I was RIGHT!" She said jumping up at down.

I blushed and linked my arm around Shay's as we walked to Kelly's car.

"You're coming home with us tonight. Right Lilah?" Kelly asked me opening my car door for me.

"You can get your stuff later. I've got plenty of clothes you can borrow." Shay said nodding and climbing inside the sporty car.

"Ok yeah. I'll take the couch." I said as I found Kelly's Firehouse 51 sweatshirt in the back seat and put it on.

"No you can take my bed and I'll take the couch." He said nicely. I was NOT going to let him give up his bed when he needed his rest more than I did. He saves lives for a living and I draw pictures. He needs more rest than I do.

"Lt. Severide I do appreciate that you would give up your bed for me but it's not gonna happen." I said being serious but funny at the same time.

"I don't mind the couch really!" He said.

"Okay children! How about you both take the couch!" Shay said throwing her hands up in the air exasperated.

I laughed and so did Kelly. I had a feeling that Shay, Kelly and I were going to be amazing roommates and a pain in each other's asses.

"I need desert really bad. Driver take us to the Mills' diner STAT!" She said to Kelly.

I laughed under my breath at the way Kelly and Shay interacted with each other.

"Yes ma'am!" He said trying to keep a serious face while Shay looked like she was getting ready to win a million bucks.

After we went to get desert at the Mills' diner we picked up a couple movies and headed back to the apartment. Shay set the movies down on the kitchen counter. She was going out with someone for a drink and when I say "a" drink I mean 20 drinks

"I'll be in my bedroom getting ready! You two love birds be good!" She said going up the stairs to her bedroom.

"We will Mother!" Kelly said to her smiling.

"Don't you get snappy with me Severide!" She said pointing her finger at him.

He went to the fridge to get a drink and I sat down on a bar stool and unlaced my boots taking them off.

"You look nice in my hoodie…" He said putting his hands on my shoulders and massaging gently. I felt shivers fun down my spine and my fingers stopped working leaving one shoe half unlaced.

"Thanks." I said being at a loss for any other words.

He moved my hair away from my neck and ran his fingers on the bare skin that was showing. My heart beat picked up at the feeling of him.

I finally got my shoes off and turned around to face him. His eyes were darker than normal but they still had the same wonderful steely blue color. We were close but he moved closer in between my legs and played with the hair that fell out of my messy bun.

I couldn't stand the closeness without touching him so I grabbed onto the neck of his shirt and crashed my lips into his. It didn't take long for him to respond with his own body, his lips moving roughly with mine, hands finding the outside of my thigh and the crook of my neck.

I put my hands behind his head and tugged lightly on his salt & pepper hair. He moved his hand slowly up and down my leg while fighting for control over the kiss. I let him have it.

He left my lips red and swollen and placed his lips on my neck sucking lightly.

"Please don't mind me…" Shay said slipping into the kitchen in a short navy dress and black heels with a leather jacket on.

I got control over myself and Kelly rested his head on my neck mumbling "shit" under his breath. I laughed and let my hair down from its up do.

"Have a good night Shay." I said as she walked out the kitchen heading for the door.

"Thanks love!" She said and walked out waving.

Kelly didn't move. He just kept his head right on my shoulder but started kissing my shoulder.

I didn't want to move to fast, I trusted Kelly but I just didn't want to do "it" yet.

"Wanna watch a movie?" I asked sliding out of the chair and grabbing one of the movies laying on the counter.


	24. Chapter 22

**A/N: I am so sorry for the wait! I have had some medical problems that I have been dealing with over the last few weeks and it just distracted me. I hope you enjoy this chapter! I will try to be better about updating more frequently. Read and review!**

**Kelly's POV**

All the confusion was starting to slip away and the happiness was filling its place. Lilah is filling the gap that was inside me, the gap I didn't realize was there for such a long time, the gap that was begging to be filled by someone special.

When I look at her and she is smiling, really smiling, it gives me the feeling that I made a difference in her. When we first met there was no smile, no happiness, just pain and a small glint of hope.

Now that hope turned into something amazing in her and I am so thankful that I was a part of that change. I helped her along with some other special people and she helped me more than I could ever thank her for.

We share a bond that can never be broken no matter what happens. I will be there for her, I will listen to her when she needs me to, I will hold her when she needs comfort, I will help her follow her dreams whatever they may be, and I will love her with all of myself and never let her go.

She was sitting at the bar in the kitchen and I stood watching her untie her shoes while I sipped on a drink. Her long light brown hair was falling out of the messy bun, lying softly on her hoodie covered shoulder, as she lightly bit her beautifully sculpted bottom lip.

I walked behind her and ran my fingers over her tan neck, I noticed that she shivered and smiled at how I affected her. She spun around in the bar stool and looked in my eyes as I moved closer to her. I stared at her lips and rapped my finger around a wave of her hair, twisting it around as my knuckle touched her neck.

In a quick motion she grabbed the neck of my shirt and pulled me to her lips, I found the outside of her bare thigh and roughly ran my hand up and down. Her lips sucked on mine as I fought for the upper hand but she was making me weak. She softened the kiss and I moved to her neck lightly but then roughly kissing the tender spot below her ear.

"Please don't mind me…" Shay said waltzing into the kitchen. I mumbled a mild profanity into Lilah's shoulder.

I stopped bruising Lilah's neck and rested my head on her shoulder as I regained my thoughts. I was still really close in between her legs and she had turned me on more than I thought. Shay and Lilah said something to one another but I wasn't even paying attention.

I heard the apartment door shut so I started placing my lips on Lilah's neck again but then wiggled away.

"Wanna watch a movie?" She said walking away leaving me still wanting more.

I didn't know what to say but I didn't want to push her into anything that she didn't want. I knew she wanted me but something was holding her back. I want to find out what.

**Delilah's POV**

I put a movie into the built in DVD player that was in the TV and sat on the couch as Kelly joined me. He hadn't said anything and I could feel the tension growing. His silence was driving me insane and I knew I might have hurt his feelings when I walked away from him as he was trying to kiss me again.

I looked over at him as he was watching the movie and he didn't look back at me.

"I'm sorry Kelly. I didn't mean to reject you like that." I said softly looking down at my hands and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I wouldn't have hurt you. You should've just said you weren't feeling it." He said still looking at the movie.

I looked at him trying to catch his gaze, trying to look into his eyes but it was no use, he wouldn't even move his eyes away from the screen.

"I-I know." I said with less conviction than I had hoped.

He finally looked at me and I saw compassion and worry in his eyes, not anger or hurt.

"What's wrong Lilah? You can tell me." He said taking my hand in his squeezing it.

I looked away and felt a lump in my throat. The truth is that I don't want to move to fast with Kelly because I was scared, not of him, of intimacy with him.

Flash backs of what happened when I was younger have started to come lately. They come and go quickly but it scares me. I wanted to forget those things, I thought I did but it turns out I have just stuffed them into the back of my memory and now they are coming back to haunt me.

I trust Kelly with all my heart, I know he would never force me to do anything I didn't want, but I can't help that fear that is surging through me sometimes.

I was afraid for him to know the details of my past. I didn't want anyone to know. Those secrets are supposed to never be uncovered, they are supposed to be buried deep down and stay there but Kelly deserves to know what happened. Maybe not the details but he deserves to know why I am and will be reserved sometimes.

"Do you remember when I told you that some of the foster homes were pretty bad for me?" I asked him preparing myself for what I was about to say.

"Yeah, yeah I do." He said nodding.

"Well one of them was really bad. I w-was…" I said pausing and holding back tears as the lump in my throat started to hurt.

Kelly held my hand tighter and rubbed his thumb over the top.

"It's ok. Take your time. I'm right here for you." He said softly.

"I was raped. Many times." I said letting the tears fall. "I feel so disgusting, so used…damaged." I said shaking with anger and sadness.

I hate the bastard that did it to me. I was just a kid and had no power or control.

Kelly pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me as I cried. He placed a kiss at my hair line and just held me.

I know he understands now and I love him even more because of it.


	25. Author's Note 3

A/N: I'm SO sorry for stopping this story! To make a long story short I've had a rough few months. I honestly don't know where to resume because of how much has changed in the show. Major writer's block has happened to me with this story! I feel like I will be playing catch up for a while and because of that I am not going to continue. I apologize! I hope to start a new story so stay tuned! -Emma


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